feel displaced

[finish.me]

dont have the eneergy right now to type coherently but i really want to be a little baby again
i want to feel warm and safe in a familiar crib and room with familiar loving faces and no responsibility aside from shitting and eating but im in a cold motel having heart arythmia all because i cant fucking eat and i cant eat for another 10 days, partly because of anorexia and body dysmorphia partly because i cant fucking afford to, while waiting to get on a plane and fly for the first time by myself as a manchild that has no experience doing anything at all aside from just playing fucking video games and completely uproot my life and comfort to go live with a guy and his family halfway across the world that im definitely going to be weird with because of social anxiety and having absolutely no security blanket with money and having to rely completely on him to support me because i wont be able to make money in another country and also constantly fighting the fucking never ending battle that is staving off all the complications that come with being intensly mentally fucking ill and traumatized by family I just want to feel fucking safe

 

[MeltedJello]

I'm sorry you feel this way. It must be difficult having to experience something different from the usual, and going outside your comfort zone. I don't really know what else to say to help you, but I really hope your situation gets better. Have fun & stay safe out there :)

 

[FuneralCry]

It is perfectly understandable, wanting to feel safe. Life really can be so horrible, it sounds stressful what you are going through. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.