Venting fantasizing double-suicide

[deadeadgonnadie]

School has started again and it's also starting to trigger the massive urges of mine to commit suicide. Death has been constantly stuck in my head almost every single day for 5 years and it's starting to feel unbearable. I just wanna ctb soon. I can't really find a foolproof method of comitting suicide painlessly where i live bcs there are no access to guns, etc. My only option is to plunge off a 12-storey building but I'm scared of the idea that I will still be half alive and suffer physical damages. Recently I've been having fantasies of commiting double-suicide with someone, anyone. I feel that maybe I'll have more courage to ctb if someone who shares my pain do it with me. I guess something similar to a "suicide club" where people who want to ctb gather, and I've been searching for it where I live. It seems impossible that such a thing exists here but I believe there is.

 

[ZardozOmega]

I'm sorry to be rude, but how old are you?

 

[Futile]

Having to study surely doesn't help, if I was free to do what I want it would at least ease the pain I think. Also having a local pro-choice community would help too but here it's almost impossible because of the vatican

At least we have this site

 

[jisatsuko]

I totally get you, it feels better when you have someone else there to almost hype you up. 12-stories should be fine though, I heard that 4 stories minimum is about fatal-ish range but it also depends on how tall the building is.