Venting Family

[endme]

Hello,
im new here but have been following the forum for quite some time by now.
I tried hanging and drowning already, was not able to finish it.

Now i am in the struggle that more and more family members show up at my doorstep, because they somehow noticed how i am treating myself. This hurts really bad to tell them that i dont want to come with them/help.

Basically im not eating/drinking properly for almost 1 month now. I am trying to get my body as weak as possible since the other methods were to hard to pull off for me.

Im thinking now about drinking 2 bottles of spirit in a very short period of time. My body is not used to alcohol and as i said really weak already. Dehydrated and starving since days.
Ive read that alcohol alone will not work due to the body passing out to protect one.
So im thinking off just not sleeping for 1-2 days, being dehydrated, starving drinking the alcohol and trying to pass out in a bathtub. Hoping to drown while in coma.

Let me guys know what you think about that, and if anything could help to improve my chances, like medication etc.

I was also thinking about tying my feet very high on a beam so i cant really use my legs and my head would be underwater, but than im thinking i might be to scared when not totally drunk

 

[endme]

Well for anyone thats curious enough, im still here... unlucky i guess

Again two family members came on both days on the weekend where i wanted to follow through my plan.
I kinda felt something was coming up so i didnt even start drinking. Im happy about that because now i can still be here and not taken to a psych ward.
Its just that i dont know what to do anymore since everyone just wants to help me and wants the best for me.
First it was my Mom, than my Dad, my uncle...
I dont want to tell them that i want to suicide. But deep down they know, and they wont stop trying to help me.
Because we all would do the same if we love a person / our child.
But i really want it to end. I dont want to keep going and no one of them wants to understand/accept that.
I just hope i can find the right time and place and energy to follow through. Im dissapointed in myself, hurting everyone of my own family so much.

If someone is from Germany and really wants to catch the Bus, im happy to join. Maybe thats what i need, another person to not feel so lonely and full of anxiety.

Wish you all the best

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course others would be sad, but suicide is a personal decision, after all we have the right to exit at a time of our choosing, and other people have no say in this. People struggle to accept someones decision to ctb as they are selfish, they want you to stay alive for their sake. I wish you the best with your plans. I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.