Failure over and over again

[princessdepression]

Well I fucking failed hanging myself. Just passed out for a bit and had some convulsions, rope slipped and I can't help but think through the afterlife and now I will always be just this. A failure. A distasteful living thing that permits itself to this hell we live on. So afterward I gathered myself through angry tears, banged my head on the wall until I got dizzy yet again, and crawled into bed and remembered how pathetic I was sobbing into another puddle of despair. This is all pointless and there is simply no way out anymore I am trapped in a dark tunnel with no end

 

[AlexKy]

Hey there's a number of us that failed. It doesn't mean we're total failures, we just suck at dying. Banging your head doesn't help either, it will give you some mountain size lumps and a headache but that's about it. I wish I can give you some miraculous answer that will make things alright all of sudden in any direction living or ctb., but I can't. I don't have it myself. The only thing that I enjoy nowadays is sleep, because it feels like I'm dead.
PS: you're braver than I am, because your rope failed, me I haven't got the nerve to put the weight into the noose.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think many people have been in a similar situation, ctb is very difficult after all. If it was easier, I would already be gone. I feel trapped as for me there is no reliable way for me to ctb. I can imagine it must be a hopeless feeling to fail an attempt. It can be hard to carry on when you live with so much pain and despair, I understand. I wish you the best.

 

[little helpers]

partial used to be my method of choice, always fucked it up in the end with or without SI being a problem. now it seems it's just a low success rate method overall. like you don't wanna shoot into veins that easily rolls, same with this one.

still, I know that feeling all too well picking up the pieces after a failed attempt. disorienting, infuriating, depressing, all at the same time. I relate.