Venting Failed to CTB

[painofzed]

Work finally pushed me over the edge today and I couldn't take it anymore. I went to the bedroom, made a loop with my belt, put some padding between me and the belt, and then put the end of the belt through the top of the door and closed it. I let my body go and could feel some panic but then the next thing I knew I was sitting on the floor and confused at how the belt was reaching far enough to allow for me to sit. Turns out I guess I passed out and my weight snapped the belt. I thought after I finally went through it if I ever failed I would maybe want to live after that, like I would be scared or something. The truth couldn't be further, all I know is that the short time between when I passed out and when I woke up I was in no pain at all and I long for that to return. When I went through with it I was having a panic attack and it was like everything was closing in on me, I just did it and didn't even think about it. Now I can't get the courage to do it again, so I'll sit here crying until I can.

 

[AnestheticVoid]

How long did it take you to unconscious do you think?

 

[painofzed]

I really couldn't tell, but it could not have been long maybe less than 20 secs.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am sorry that you went through this failed attempt, I can imagine that it must be awful. It really is so difficult to leave this world, all that I want is to peacefully pass away. I wish you the best in whatever happens.