F* Self Preserving Istincts

[Ilpiccoloskywalker]

One thing that hurts the most is having a strong will and desire to die, but the body doesn't wan't to.
The feeling that even my own body is my enemy.
As if Shitty people, and shitty world around us wasn't enough, one can't even die in piece.

One can't even own oneself, one's own life, one can't even choose his own path, a path that would not bother anyone.
Yet Nembutal and other stuff that could help is fucking illegal, the only thing that could give freedom to a person is not allowed to be.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

I agree with you..wish it was easier

 

[suffering]

One thing that hurts the most is having a strong will and desire to die, but the body doesn't wan't to.
The feeling that even my own body is my enemy.
As if Shitty people, and shitty world around us wasn't enough, one can't even die in piece.

One can't even own oneself, one's own life, one can't even choose his own path, a path that would not bother anyone.
Yet Nembutal and other stuff that could help is fucking illegal, the only thing that could give freedom to a person is not allowed to be.

I feel this so much.... I miss the days when I though I had what it takes to end it. I was naive, but I felt so free... Since my failed confrontation with my survival instinct I've never felt free again. During the best days, I can feel like a comfortable prisoner who can walk around a little bit. But never, ever, free.