Breadbfra
Arcanist
- Jul 16, 2020
- 400
I discovered SS in 2020, when it became my damn safe space during covid when everything in Italy seemed to be rotting down. My mental health was a shitshow. My dad became fucking severely depressed and a just started living like a vegetable. He tried K treatments like me, nothing worked. I met a wonderful girl, and that's the luckiest thing that has ever happened. Then we spent a shit ton of money on a bakery in Milan, and it seems to be doing ok for someone but pretty bad for me. I know it's been two fucking months but I'm working so hard I barely have time to clean my body and eat anything. I fell asleep multiple times while working on sunday and I even cut a piece of my finger yesterday.
What I mean is that nothing in my life has ever worked well. Nothing, I tried every sport I could ever think of, but depression fucked it over. I was never succesful and the few times it happened it was because of luck. School has been a shitshow for 5 years. Then I left my fucking uni to become a baker, received multiple job offers but everything turned bad. Nothing in my life has ever gone okay, or just slightly successful at it. I barely made 3790€ this week. This sunday we've been empty the whole afternoon, even though reviews on every site are great and everyone tells we're doing great.
I just want the energy to finally kill myself. I've been trying to be successful, to.do something, to become someone, to at least do slightly okay but nothing seems to.work. everything seems to be saying that i'm not suitsd for life. If I had shitty parents and no girlfriend I would have had killed myself way sooner.
"Being out of depression" I said while I was about to fail again.
Sorry for the vent but I'd rather die of lung cancer from the cig smoking rather than keep pursuing
What I mean is that nothing in my life has ever worked well. Nothing, I tried every sport I could ever think of, but depression fucked it over. I was never succesful and the few times it happened it was because of luck. School has been a shitshow for 5 years. Then I left my fucking uni to become a baker, received multiple job offers but everything turned bad. Nothing in my life has ever gone okay, or just slightly successful at it. I barely made 3790€ this week. This sunday we've been empty the whole afternoon, even though reviews on every site are great and everyone tells we're doing great.
I just want the energy to finally kill myself. I've been trying to be successful, to.do something, to become someone, to at least do slightly okay but nothing seems to.work. everything seems to be saying that i'm not suitsd for life. If I had shitty parents and no girlfriend I would have had killed myself way sooner.
"Being out of depression" I said while I was about to fail again.
Sorry for the vent but I'd rather die of lung cancer from the cig smoking rather than keep pursuing
