Ever imagine in detail how you’ll feel and what you’ll think as you’re ctb?

[Weebster]

I had a daydream of being mid-fall after having jumped. I accepted it and then the reality hit me, and I became afraid that I was moments from crashing into the earth never to be me again.

I think these are clues into how i'd actually experience ctb.

 

[αmber]

I've had dreams like this one you had. I remember regretting jumping while I was mid-air. Maybe that is SI kicking in even in dreams. I assume it is natural to regret it once you're actually at the point of no return.

 

[Smart No More]

That's exactly how falling is likely to feel. It's just instinct. I think, if I were going to go with a fall/jump, I might like to do it backwards. That way you don't anticipate the impact like you might as you watch it rushing towards you. I think ideally I'd like to do it from a plane. Ivm aware of the complexity of that, its just a best case scenario, 'what if' thing. Never going to happen.

Whilst some have survived failed parachutes it's pretty rare. Apparently though, if your body is limp as you hit the ground it does less damage than if you tense up. I doubt studies have been done but there are mathmatical and scientific reasons for the belief along with a few accounts that back it up however I don't think a few accounts really count as scientific evidence. Too many variables but as a working theory, fair enough.

I think those of us genuine in our unlimate intentions to ctb have thought about the act in detail. The questions around micro managing the event and method are testiment to that.

 

[~Q~]

Dont have to imagine. I felt peaceful and ready for it to be over. Sadly it didnt work that time (ran out of gas) but it will next time.

 

[Weebster]

I've had dreams like this one you had. I remember regretting jumping while I was mid-air. Maybe that is SI kicking in even in dreams. I assume it is natural to regret it once you're actually at the point of no return.

So everyone who's conscious til the end of their ctb experience regrets it just before?

That's exactly how falling is likely to feel. It's just instinct. I think, if I were going to go with a fall/jump, I might like to do it backwards. That way you don't anticipate the impact like you might as you watch it rushing towards you. I think ideally I'd like to do it from a plane. Ivm aware of the complexity of that, its just a best case scenario, 'what if' thing. Never going to happen.

Whilst some have survived failed parachutes it's pretty rare. Apparently though, if your body is limp as you hit the ground it does less damage than if you tense up. I doubt studies have been done but there are mathmatical and scientific reasons for the belief along with a few accounts that back it up however I don't think a few accounts really count as scientific evidence. Too many variables but as a working theory, fair enough.

I think those of us genuine in our unlimate intentions to ctb have thought about the act in detail. The questions around micro managing the event and method are testiment to that.

If I fell back, I'd feel compelled to take a peek so as to be aware of the landing. Giving into an ocd compulsion would be my last action lol so cruel

 

[ihopethisispainless]

I had a daydream of being mid-fall after having jumped. I accepted it and then the reality hit me, and I became afraid that I was moments from crashing into the earth never to be me again.

I think these are clues into how i'd actually experience ctb.

I think about this every day. I plan on hanging and I'm very conflicted about how I imagine this will feel. I'm hanging in such a way that I won't occlude my trachea but will still Constrict arteries so it won't really hurt but I question if this would feel good? (it feels a bit like whipits) will I be scared? Will I ultimately be able to bring myself to hang? I also plan on being more plastered than ever in my life. Will it just feel like the grand finale to a big drug bender?

 

[lofticries]

I'd wanna feel excited and a bit euphoric.

Too bad I can't take drugs with n.

 

[ihopethisispainless]

I'd wanna feel excited and a bit euphoric.

Too bad I can't take drugs with n.

Is that true?? Why? Even weed?

Is that true?? Why? Even weed?

Sure it'll still feel nice tho

 

[Brianiskillingme]

My final thoughts will be.........you (Brian) should have appreciated me. Now my depression and BPD can die with me.

 

[lofticries]

Is that true?? Why? Even weed?

Sure it'll still feel nice tho

You might throw up the n.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

I have dreadful repeating intrusive thoughts, so my fear is my last thought will be one of those. Something awful and unpleasant.

I genuinely don't want that, though. I'd much rather my final thoughts be one of peace, but I'm scared my hellish brain won't let me have that.

 

[outrider567]

Be thinking of my late girlfriend and no one else

 

[Smart No More]

Is that true?? Why? Even weed?

Sure it'll still feel nice tho

You can smoke weed before taking N. It's fine. It's suggested as an antiemetic in the pph but that's pushing it a bit. It does have those properties for sure but obviously if you're not used to it there's the chance it could cause vomiting. Odd that huh? I've never experienced that but seen it cause a 'whitey' in some. If you use weed regularly you're perfectly fine getting high pre-N.

 

[Capsaicin78]

I'll probably die in regret, thinking of how I fucked up my life. Also there will be grief over the fact that everyone only has one chance at life and I was born into circumstances that made me deeply unhappy.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Final thoughts: "It's finally over. No more watching those live the lives I can't".

 

[Darkover]

good riddance hope to never exist ever again

 

[brokensoulsdiealone]

Are dreams don't allow us to feel what we haven't felt in real life. that's why you feel back on earth I'll say one thing I hope I don't do much thinking or feelings at all . when i CTB hope it goes as planned that's all I would hope .

 

[Weebster]

Final thoughts: "It's finally over. No more watching those live the lives I can't".

I feel that too.

 

[FuneralCry]

I will probably just be hoping that this is the end. I think that if I had the option of a peaceful and reliable exit, I would feel calm about everything and would be glad that this life is coming to an end. Since, I do not have that, my last moments will likely just be suffering, if I could actually bring myself to ctb. The fear of failure is what holds me back. I believe that we all deserve the option of a peaceful exit. Death should not be so unnecessarily horrible. It is awful feeling trapped in this world.

 

[deathbylife]

That's exactly how falling is likely to feel. It's just instinct. I think, if I were going to go with a fall/jump, I might like to do it backwards. That way you don't anticipate the impact like you might as you watch it rushing towards you. I think ideally I'd like to do it from a plane. Ivm aware of the complexity of that, its just a best case scenario, 'what if' thing. Never going to happen.

Whilst some have survived failed parachutes it's pretty rare. Apparently though, if your body is limp as you hit the ground it does less damage than if you tense up. I doubt studies have been done but there are mathmatical and scientific reasons for the belief along with a few accounts that back it up however I don't think a few accounts really count as scientific evidence. Too many variables but as a working theory, fair enough.

I think those of us genuine in our unlimate intentions to ctb have thought about the act in detail. The questions around micro managing the event and method are testiment to that.

I've gone skydiving three times and each time I've had to hold on to the strut of the plane, look at my jump master until he gave me the thumbs-up, then let go. It's terrifying. In no way do I consider free-falling to my death -- no matter which way I'm facing, and you have to position your body in a certain way to keep it from tumbling over and over -- a preferable method. Too much time, even in seconds, to think and to be terrified.

 

[IWillSmileWhenIDie]

yeah like this:

 

[September5th]

I would cry and reflect upon what a piece of shit I truly am and how I wasted my life away, pushed others away and did nothing with it.
I would then probably drink the shit and be a bit happy with the peace I was going to experience.

 

[friendofbirds]

i have daydreams about ctb but then every time i get caught. i cant even enjoy death in my dreams