Venting Endless Tunnel

[clockworkclown]

I am relieved and yet alarmed to see this forum. Relieved because I felt so alone till I came across this place, and alarmed that so many of us feel the same way. I have clinical depression & anxiety and I'm married to someone who is highly narcissistic. I've grown up in a typical Asian household. Strict parents. Not too appreciative. They've turned appreciative only now, when it makes no difference anymore. You still look back at those childhood experiences for validation and you fail miserably. I'm like a ghost right now, if I disappeared it would make no difference. I'm in two minds about CTB, but I wish I could disappear. I've been checking out doorknob asphyxiation.. and I don't understand how that'll work. What if the door knob gives away? Or worse what if the door gives in? The last thing I want to do is attempt it and fail. That'll just be the pits.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

The only light at the end of my tunnel is from the train that will run me over.
Sorry for the pain you are going through.
I don't have an answer for your question but there is the Resources page. There are some links including a Hanging Megathread.
Maybe someone will have an answer there.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resource-compilation.3/

 

[Walilamdzi]

Yes I'm trying to figure out the same method.

 

[faust]

The only way to check that would be to see what happens if you just hang on the doorknob, not as a suicide attempt, but like a crash test. Even better with some weights in your backpack. In this case you will be sure nothing serious will happen.