ECT: ‘reset’ my brain

[NotSoEnchanted]

I made it a grand total of 8 days out of the psych ward before my choices led to me getting hospitalized yet again. I'm currently dreadfully awaiting a bed opening up at one of the nearby psych wards. Thankfully my sitters and the nurses have been so kind that my time at the hospital hasn't been too awful, but the impending doom I feel about going back to the psych ward is getting worse and worse as the weekend passes. Im not looking forward to having my wings clipped and getting shoved back in a cage.

I truly don't think they'll be able to help me with medication and casual talk therapy this time round. I spent 20 days last month at the ward and if anything, I left feeling worse. ECT was brought to the table during my previous stay at the psych ward. Given last month they were unable to 'make me better' with medication, I believe they'll move on to ECT and even if I say no, they'll take me to court and force me into it. This was held over my head last time, so it's not a far fetched possibility at all.

I would like to know if anyone here has experience with this sort of treatment. I don't have much hope that even the most invasive form of care will change my mindset, and it obviously can't change my circumstances (being poor and chronically ill) But I am curious if anyone has had success with ECT, was made worse by it, or didn't notice a difference. Im not inherently against it as why not try everything if I'm just going to CTB, but I am very hesitant as it honestly seems awful and kinda cruel.

 

[Fadenself00_]

i think the WHO even warns about it and describes it along the lines of 'torture' if it is being forced. they also acknowledge risk of brain damage
if i were you i would try to find a way to hire a lawyer right f'ing now!

many people there are lying, gaslighting pieces of crap. if you suffer brain damage and are way worse off, it wont ever get acknowledged.. they also never acknowledge that you may just be chronically ill for life, they always find a way to "treat".. it can get into a very, very nasty downward spiral, it's brutal.

source: i was polydrugged and suffered permanent damage

please be very careful !
info , so you receive a push for the updated message: (i edited my post a bunch of times)

 

[Slark]

I've already undergone electroconvulsive therapy. I had 4 sessions and it didn't improve my depression at all, nor my sleep (at the time I was having a lot of trouble sleeping). When the sessions ended, I was always a little confused, numb, and when I looked in the mirror my eyes were very red. I experienced recent memory loss and also forgot some old memories. The procedure is done under general anesthesia (at least where I live), so I didn't feel any pain, but I would never do it again because it simply didn't work for me.

 

[rs929]

Some people claim it saved their lives. I refused to do it because of the memory loss side effect, which MAY be permanent, and I refused to accept that risk.

But it seems to work for a % of the people

There is a subreddit dedicated to ECT. SaSu is kind of an echo chamber and selection biased because you'll most likely find here the people that had no success with it (or didn't try at all)

 

[webb&flow]

Hi there OP, did you end up doing ECT? How was it? Wishing love

 

[neurotoxic]

I got ECT years ago, it did not impair my functioning and significantly helped my depressive and psychotic symptoms with minimal side effects and nothing long term. You'll hear a lot of horror stories but I urge you to consider the biases of anyone here advising against any form of evidence-based treatment.

 

[purebliss]

Some people claim it saved their lives. I refused to do it because of the memory loss side effect, which MAY be permanent, and I refused to accept that risk.

But it seems to work for a % of the people

There is a subreddit dedicated to ECT. SaSu is kind of an echo chamber and selection biased because you'll most likely find here the people that had no success with it (or didn't try at all)

I did not even know about this.

That would be like the best thing for me ever to get my memory erased. All the things that I have done or have been done to me...
Maybe I try to get it here in Germany some how

 

[NotSoEnchanted]

Hi there OP, did you end up doing ECT? How was it? Wishing love

I did not! The facility I ended up at was very hands-off, in the sense I didn't get any help and basically just watched t.v for 8 days.

 

[letmegetout]

I had ECT, a full course of bilateral which left me as what others described a zombie, not remembering conversations from minutes before then a full course of unilateral (suppose to not impact your memory as much) by the end I felt the best I'd ever felt (like since my depression started 20 years ago as a child). However, Its lasted only a couple of months max, very quickly tailing off and have been left with long term memory loss, mainly past memories (which I know I'll never get back) but I did have short term memory problems too which a year later still affects me but now minimally (but that took almost the whole year to get to this stage).
I'm in the uk and I felt like I wasn't fully informed of the short term memory problems I could experience. They make it very clear long term memories can be lost and won't be recovered but short term, they just say it will return to normal in 3 months and it certainly wasn't the case for myself or the other four people having ECT courses with me.

 

[MyUniqueUsername]

Modern Lobotomy, who comes up with these sick practices

 

[purebliss]

Modern Lobotomy, who comes up with these sick practices

To be honest.

Is it that bad?
For someone being who they are is the source of their distress.

This doesn't cause mechanical harm and allows you to purge your brain.

I would love to forget everything
To get my personality erased and atart anew

 

[rs929]

To be honest.

Is it that bad?
For someone being who they are is the source of their distress.

This doesn't cause mechanical harm and allows you to purge your brain.

I would love to forget everything
To get my personality erased and atart anew

I think the idea of forgetting who you are is exaggerated, haha.

 

[LetMeOut67]

I (UK, 58) have twice asked for electro convulsive therapy recently and been denied.
My depression has become very severe and now has an added ingredient of extreme fear and I see no other way out of it.