Early goodbye

[Pryras]

I'm not sure if I'll be able to write a goodbye thread when I'm catching my bus, but If I do I'll just bump this one when it's time.

Anyways, I made my decision to CTB by the end of August, before September. I've moved forward from my past, my toxic relationships and have grown from my traumas. I never thought I could make it through it, but I did. I recently had surgery and was disfigured in the process, it's irreversible and something I can't change. My future would be in and out of the hospital and constant emotional/physical distress that I don't want to experience over again. I've been in and out of the hospital since I was 15 and I'm 23 now. I won't go into intensive detail, but I'm hurting.

I'm ofc nervous but not impulsive this time. I'm really thankful for this community and I hope all of you get the happiness you deserve. I think giving yourself time after a traumatic event is important and something I'd recommend if you're suffering. Time doesn't "fix" anything but I believe it gives you more opportunities to find effective coping strategies to help heal deep emotional traumas.

thanks for reading

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

My thoughts go out to you. I'm sorry you are experiencing such challenges. I wish there were other paths available to you. I hope that these next few weeks/months bring you comfort, joy, clarity, and peace.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I don't have any words right now, just a lot of emotions. Sending you a hug.

I know my words often resonate for you, if there's something I can offer please let me know. I am capable of saying I wish I could have prevented you being disfigured and ensured you had a positive outcome.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I'm so sorry... If you really decide to leave, go with peace in your heart..
I will burn a little candle for you, I hope it's warmth will reach you

 

[Whitebigwall]

Here if you want someone to talk to x

 

[Pryras]

I don't have any words right now, just a lot of emotions. Sending you a hug.

I know my words often resonate for you, if there's something I can offer please let me know. I am capable of saying I wish I could have prevented you being disfigured and ensured you had a positive outcome.

You're very dear to me, and without you I don't think I would have been able to overcome my codependent relationship with that narcissist. I'm proud that I can genuinely say that I no longer feel hurt by this man and any pedestal he was on is burned down to the ground. Thank you for that.

In a way the surgeries would have never stopped and sooner or later it wouldn't have ended well. If it was purely a money issue I would probably have the patience to slave away for the next 5 years to pay for a possibility of improvement that's not guaranteed or further disfigurement. But that's not something I'm mentally or physically prepared to do. I'm okay but I think it's time, just giving myself a bit of a window to make sure everything is in order first.

I'm so sorry... If you really decide to leave, go with peace in your heart..
I will burn a little candle for you, I hope it's warmth will reach you

that's sweet and thank you

 

[wonderworld]

Godspeed. We are here no matter the decision.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

You're very dear to me, and without you I don't think I would have been able to overcome my codependent relationship with that narcissist. I'm proud that I can genuinely say that I no longer feel hurt by this man and any pedestal he was on is burned down to the ground. Thank you for that.

I'm so pleased for you that you feel proud! Isn't it great?! I was proud of myself this week for overcoming something, it's nice we experienced that around the same time. Glad I was able to provide some good support so you could have that experience, you certainly deserve it.

 

[Pryras]

Godspeed. We are here no matter the decision.

My thoughts go out to you. I'm sorry you are experiencing such challenges. I wish there were other paths available to you. I hope that these next few weeks/months bring you comfort, joy, clarity, and peace.

Thank you for this and I already feel more relaxed

 

[Mixo]

You seem like a great person with a lot of insight. I'm sorry that this happened to you, the medical system does this too often. I wish you peace in your final days.

 

[falloutcarter13]

I didn't have the chance to get to know you, but from your comments its easy to see you genuinely care about people and are a good, sensitive person yourself. I wish you all the peace, love, and happiness in the worlds on your journey, in whatever time you have left here and beyond ((hugs))