Drug withdrawal

[Insomniac]

I ran out of xanax after trying to overdose the other day and now I'm fucking losing it.

I feel sick, can't stop crying and don't have any alcohol on hand either. There is nothing I can do but be in this state of utter helplessness, restlessness. How pathetic. I bragged multiple times on here about being finally addiction free but it was bs because I did try to overdose out of the blue by taking more than 250pills.

I'm so full of crap, so full of bs guys. It's surreal. so full of shit. just like my dad. I'm an addict just like him. And I'm a selfish bitch just like my mom.

I don't know what to do. I'm unworthy of trust. I'll always relapse, I'll always ne messed up.
I'm an idiot.

I also bragged about not procrastinating but it was only because I was under xanax that I was able to not procrastinate. Now I can't focus on shit.

I also said that I'd never be an alcoholic but it was obviously bs because look at me? I'm craving my vodka.
Fuck me.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Here's one thing I know for sure. NO ONE is a good judge of their own character when they're in withdrawal, or hungry, angry, lonely, tired, and/or thirsty. Not kidding, maybe you can start by getting taking a sizable drink of water, having a meal, and maybe some caffeine and a cigarette? That is, if you smoke. [All of the addicts/alcoholics in my life are heavy smokers.]