Venting dream of an eternal sleep (stream of consciousness poem/diary entry)

[Pretty Dull]

I went back to the bridge last night, climbed the barrier and looked down, the water too murky to see the bottom, I sat on the railing for an hour as my indecisive mind raced with reckless thoughts and chainsmoked a pack of menthols, pockets filled with weighted stones, and wondered if was I always destined to die at my own hands as I stare down at my final destination, my final resting place, a realm existing in another time and space, the depths of the water serenading me to my demise, I imagine the dead stars illuminating my rotten corpse at the the bottom of the lake, I always feel most at peace when I dream of an eternal sleep, I smoke the last cigarette in the pack and decide to live to die another day, the tortured soul of twenty years turns the other way

 

[WornOutLife]

I can relate.
Having lots of doubts and just telling ourselves "maybe another day" is perfectly normal.

Whatever happens, wish you lots of love and peace.

Hugs,

Matt

 

[FuneralCry]

An eternal sleep is what I want. Death makes all life meaningless and it is the solution to my problems. The thought of it comforts me. At least whatever happens it will come someday.