Venting Drawn back here

[lucid]

It's been a long while since I came here.
Ever since I decided it'd be best for me to take a break from the site it has been at the back of my mind constantly, day in and day out. I woke up today feeling something wasn't right, and I guess this is what it leads to.
Maybe someone else can relate here? I don't mean to imply it's a bad thing to come here, of course a lot of people find comfort in the site, and sometimes I have as well. But that's just the thing. I don't know what this site is serving me in return, a safe space or a place that's making me dwell constantly. I won't lie since I've been away from the site I've been more positive, but that's only because I'm not thinking about the bad things so much as I usually do. It seems that this depression comes in waves and I only get a brief glimpse of what really being happy is like before I have to suck up the shit feelings and hide it all from my friends again so that I'm tolerable.

On a side note from my stupid rambling, I hope everyone has been doing well, or you know, what is considered well.