Doing speed every day, planning to prepare SN

[Lauriso]

Hello, fellow sad souls.

For the past two weeks I've been doing speed every day. I don't even get high off it anymore, it just makes existence tolerable. I tried to take a break three days ago and it was hellish. It's probably my baseline depression and addiction combined. It's torturous to be sober.

I'm having psychotherapy tomorrow and psychiatrist the day after. I think I will be honest about speed. I've tried three different antidepressants that did absolutely nothing, so I'm wondering if the psychiatrist say it's worth trying another.

That said, I'm getting more and more comfortable with CTB. I'm dying sooner or later anyway, and, apart from hurting family, I haven't found a good enough reason not to do it. Since N is hard to get currently, I want to prepare my SN method. I don't plan to do it yet, but I feel a desire for it to be an available option. I already e-mailed a local seller inquiring about purity.

 

[jodes2]

Good luck with your psychiatrist and new antidepressant if that's what they put you on. I hope they can help you with your speed habit. Sorry you want to CTB. I'm glad you're comfortable with it as a way out at least, sorry it's come to this

 

[chronicphysicalpain]

I'd be careful when telling to the psychiatrist in countries where they can ja... send you to a mental hospital forcefully. Telling to your psychotherapist everything sounds like a very rational approach, though. I'd even considering not just telling on LSD, but also about the feelings of suicide -if you haven't- without detailling you have actual plans, so you can explore "why" and if you actually can find a better coping way.

Hope you the best with depression in any case

 

[Lauriso]

I'd be careful when telling to the psychiatrist in countries where they can ja... send you to a mental hospital forcefully. Telling to your psychotherapist everything sounds like a very rational approach, though. I'd even considering not just telling on LSD, but also about the feelings of suicide -if you haven't- without detailling you have actual plans, so you can explore "why" and if you actually can find a better coping way.

Hope you the best with depression in any case

Thank you. Yeah, I'm not actually sure what the law here is, so maybe it's best I keep it to myself with the psychiatrist. I've already told the therapist I have suicidal thoughts, but no actual plans yet,

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that for many people it can be a relief just having a plan of a way to exit this world for when the time is right. It's a shame that N is so difficult to access, it certainly does sound like the most preferable way to exit. I wish you the best.

 

[Kali Yuga]

Please do not CTB while under the influence or in the come down stage of speed. This will pass.

Yes, be honest with you psych. addiction is a condition and treatable, but can also mask other issues if you aren't honest. Amphetamine addiction/abuse can also mimic many psychiatric disorders as well as disrupt an otherwise healthy functioning brain, leading your psych and ultimately yourself in a goose chase.

I take ADHD meds (amphetamine) which though helps with ADHD, it can make me even more depressed and anxious AF. This is a common side effect, but is temporary.

Excercise will 100% help rewire any unhealthy dopamine receptor wiring as well as plenty of liquid and good diet. That's good you've already taken step to book psych. You got this man. I hope that this will all pass.