Does setting a date make it easier or harder?

[Too_Many_Years]

Does having that date set make the decision and planning any easier? Or should it just be spontaneous so as to not to dwell on it and potentially get too scared to do it?

I haven't told anyone of any plans because the 1st thing they will do is try to get me 'help'. Been there. Had my quota of therapy. They dont want to give me anymore. I dont want to be on pills until the universe decides my time is up. Pills to keep me 'level', to keep me numb, to keep me functioning, if that is what you can call it.

I dont feel happiness anymore. I just feel there are some days that are marginally less worse than others. Nothing truely makes me smile or feel joy. Im a robot now.

I think NYE 2025 will be my date. My final one. My new years resolution? No more pain.

 

[TheHolySword]

Depends on the person. For some it is freeing, for others it gives too much SI. As with every decision one can make here, it should be what's best and what makes the most sense for you.

 

[yowai]

I wouldn't set a date further than a few days, just to settle a few more things and be free to go

 

[Namelesa]

I would say harder. To make it as easy as possible to do I need feel great pain to feel a impulsive urge to do it so I might not feel that on that date so I don't want to set one. I would rather ctb when I feel like I most want it.

 

[3/4Dead]

for me? easier. i need to plan meticulously. its just how im built. you? who knows, everyone is different.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

For me it would harder to set a date because I have bad anxiety and will ruminate uncontrollably.

 

[Cyagangy]

It made it easier. I got to see the movies I wanted and play the games I wanted before I passed on. It gives you time to rethink if that's your cup of tea, plus you have time to get affairs in order.

 

[lebrodude]

Yes I think it does.

Setting a date gives a sense of control and the illusion of an end point. You rationalise it to yourself and give yourself time to sort your affairs so everything is in order then you can leave. At least for me that's how I see it.

In reality though I don't get everything in order and end up postponing the date to another few months down the line. Mainly because I just don't have the energy to do anything. It's difficult. I think this is also just a sign I'm not mentally there yet, as in at the place where I'm 100% committed. I'm circling the airport with 90% confidence of a safe landing, that 10% just won't let me go.

 

[Pryras]

Easier in the sense that you can stop panicking and relax bc you have a set date to stop the pain

Harder to actually ctb since your SI will be lower since you've had to time to dissociate for awhile

I'm incredibly impulsive and will wait for the day I'm triggered again to help me push through the self preservation instinct.

 

[grungy自殺]

It makes both easier and harder for me

For one, on the easier side. It helps me give me an insurance plan, a plan that would make my suffering much more easier to manage. because by then if it's all too much, I would at least remember that the day I've set when it's all supposed to be over would make feel better at ease as it would give the relief I seriously need without me having the dreadful thoughts of continuing to live in such a fked up world for much longer.

On the other hand however

It makes it hard for my already crappy mental state as there has been so many times where I feel like I have to seriously ctb at this very moment because it's too much to bare. But I would often be reminded in my mind that it's not time and I would have to wait until that time comes, and makes me so low and so desperate that I can't possibly be patient anymore. And I would think in my head when I'm so stressed on this that I would have to cope with something, something that would give me an effect to put me at ease from thinking on those thoughts (even if it harms me or makes me worse)

Setting a date gives a sense of control and the illusion of an end point. You rationalise it to yourself and give yourself time to sort your affairs so everything is in order then you can leave. At least for me that's how I see it.

So true

I agree with this

Tho in my case it's gonna take a long time for my exit to all come in motion if I at least keep on with the plan of leaving a ton of things behind and the finalization of my thoughts to pull it off effortlessly without difficulty

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

I like the sense of control setting a date gives me, but I hate feeling like I'm just waiting for it to happen. On the other hand, something planned is better than something impulsive.

 

[egg_an]

Doing it on a random day could make you a little reckless, having a date made me plan better and prepare my goodbyes beforehand