Does researching relax you?

[easypeasy]

Today I was searching the internet for answers to my question: will the following combination of medicine cause cbt?

2g Cimetidine (Antacid)
500mg of diazepam (I could collect more if needed)
8grams Amitriptilyne (made as a suspension)
100mg Digoxin (made is a suspension)

I came across this piece of info: Amitryptiline Reactions which would suggest I could cbt without SN or N, or which I am unable to obtain either. Id previously thought I needed P'tol.

Anyway, I am wondering two things…. The original outline that I researched a year ago, suggested to use digoxin as a cardiac switch with the Amit, but the above article does not require it. So….i.m wondering…is it better to use digoxin and Amit or omit the Digoxin altogether.

I have attached two screenshots regarding Digoxin use in cbt. The 2nd photo is interesting. It suggests a completed cbt attempt with digoxin, Ondansetron, Amit, Diazepam, Digoxin and Meto. It's the 5th case from the bottom of the table.

The second thing I wonder is if anybody else finds comfort and is relaxed by doing research? I certainly feel less tension when I feel like I'm making progress towards something feasible.

I do not wish to die or encourage others to do so. I do empathaise with others in debilitating pain, as that is what happened to me 6 years ago. And the only reason I am considering my options on cbt.

 

[Ash]

Researching anything relaxes me. What kind of propagators to get for seedlings? What walking shoes have good grip on wet roads as well as wet mud? Why are men's and women's buttons on different sides? Plus the heavy stuff, obvs.

 

[motoko_s9]

'The second thing I wonder is if anybody else finds comfort and is relaxed by doing research? I certainly feel less tension when I feel like I'm making progress towards something feasible.'

I agree it's moderately therapeutic, but also WHAT I am researching increases anxiety at the same time.

What increases my anxiety is finding that the more peaceful methods are difficult or unavailable where I am.

 

[easypeasy]

'The second thing I wonder is if anybody else finds comfort and is relaxed by doing research? I certainly feel less tension when I feel like I'm making progress towards something feasible.'

I agree it's moderately therapeutic, but also WHAT I am researching increases anxiety at the same time.

What increases my anxiety is finding that the more peaceful methods are difficult or unavailable where I am.

You hit the nail on the head. Seeing hope amidst a lot of information is like a weight lifts off my shoulders and warms my heart.

 

[rozeske]

The pphe has informative points on Amit, I recommend taking a look if you haven't already.

Research? yes. That's always been my nature on everything, maybe on the verge of unhealthy. My recent field of research(aka death and everything surrounding it) has been oddly comforting and calming on most days except on a few moments where it feels suffocating and I have to find other distractions.

 

[easypeasy]

The pphe has informative points on Amit, I recommend taking a look if you haven't already.

Research? yes. That's always been my nature on everything, maybe on the verge of unhealthy. My recent field of research(aka death and everything surrounding it) has been oddly comforting and calming on most days except on a few moments where it feels suffocating and I have to find other distractions.

It's so nice to read about someone enjoying the same things I do. I also like to research death, and the philosophy / history around self exiting in different cultures over the years - Samurai, Buddhists etc.

I have read the PPHE which is where I found the info on Amit, but I've since noticed the same protocol isn't in the edition I can now view.

Once I took the pressure off finding the perfect answer, I've learned to appreciate the journey of discovery.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Samurai

what specifically about them?

 

[Not a Cylon]

The second thing I wonder is if anybody else finds comfort and is relaxed by doing research? I certainly feel less tension when I feel like I'm making progress towards something feasible.

It makes me feel like I have some sort of control. Will I ever execute a plan? Who knows… I'm tempted to see if I can buy a canister of inert gas as an experiment and as a comfort blanket. It would feel nice knowing I have the materials ready to check out if I just hit rock bottom.

I guess when you spend 99% of the day by yourself, there's a lot of free time to look up these sort of things.

Hope you are doing well.

 

[thanatos444]

'The second thing I wonder is if anybody else finds comfort and is relaxed by doing research? I certainly feel less tension when I feel like I'm making progress towards something feasible.'

I agree it's moderately therapeutic, but also WHAT I am researching increases anxiety at the same time.

What increases my anxiety is finding that the more peaceful methods are difficult or unavailable where I am.

That last sentence really hit the nail on the head for me.

 

[easypeasy]

what specifically about them?

Seppuku (切腹, lit. 'cutting [the] belly'), also called harakiri (腹切り, lit. 'abdomen/belly cutting', a native Japanese kun reading), is a form of Japanese ritualistic suicide by disembowelment. It was originally reserved for samurai in their code of honour, but was also practised by other Japanese people during the Shōwa era[1][2] (particularly officers near the end of World War II) to restore honour for themselves or for their families.

Thee is a lot on the subject, including wives committing Seppuku.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Seppuku (切腹, lit. 'cutting [the] belly'), also called harakiri (腹切り, lit. 'abdomen/belly cutting', a native Japanese kun reading), is a form of Japanese ritualistic suicide by disembowelment. It was originally reserved for samurai in their code of honour, but was also practised by other Japanese people during the Shōwa era[1][2] (particularly officers near the end of World War II) to restore honour for themselves or for their families.

Thee is a lot on the subject, including wives committing Seppuku.

Oh that, I know.

 

[indefinitesleep]

yeah its like planning my suicide gives me a kind of purpose or mission to complete before the end

 

[rj3542]

Researching and engaging on here is the main thing that keeps me from panic attacks right now. Definitely relaxing and I find now that I have a more solid plan and definitive date for ctb I feel happier, notice the beauty all around, and can enjoy the life remaining more.

 

[rednights]

I'm not sure, on one hand it is comforting to have the hope of escape and it takes a bit of the edge away to feel I'm working towards that.

On the other, the difficulty of executing these things stresses me out and makes me feel trapped.

 

[easypeasy]

Researching and engaging on here is the main thing that keeps me from panic attacks right now. Definitely relaxing and I find now that I have a more solid plan and definitive date for ctb I feel happier, notice the beauty all around, and can enjoy the life remaining more.

I feel the same way. I feel like I am investing in active kindness to myself by looking for a way to help myself. I cry often due to other reasons but when I am researching I feel calm. It doesn't make me sad.

 

[easypeasy]

I'm not sure, on one hand it is comforting to have the hope of escape and it takes a bit of the edge away to feel I'm working towards that.

On the other, the difficulty of executing these things stresses me out and makes me feel trapped.

I can relate to that, also.the part about the difficulty executing things. Do you mind if I ask what makes you feel like this to begin with? Mine is chronic pain and the subsequent affect on my life. You obvs don't have to answer if you don't want to. You also don't need to justify it to me I'm just curious when I find people like me.

 

[Edpal247]

I like researching usually. But on suicide is is frustrating. Few viable options for some of us and "nothing new under the sun." Some of us can't get our hands on pharmaceuticals, guns or gases. Or SA. Pretty much lleaves hanging, jumping and "possibly" CO poisoning. Hard to find a good place to do CO.

 

[1043169]

I was googling SN Wikipedia article at work yesterday lmao.

 

[easypeasy]

I like researching usually. But on suicide is is frustrating. Few viable options for some of us and "nothing new under the sun." Some of us can't get our hands on pharmaceuticals, guns or gases. Or SA. Pretty much lleaves hanging, jumping and "possibly" CO poisoning. Hard to find a good place to do CO.

Yeah, it definitely requires patience. I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. It shouldn't be too easy because ctb shouldn't be an impulse decision. I think right to die ethics should be more openly discussed, though because better assistance in Medical assisted dying would help those who really need it.

 

[Ariel1]

This has inspired me to do more research on the history and philosophy surrounding suicide. I now have a plan that I feel will work for me, but I feel guilty about executing it because I'll be leaving my family behind. They say suicide is selfish, but I think it's also selfish to expect me to live miserable and in constant physical and emotional pain. If I was completely alone, I'd have cbt long ago.

 

[jatty]

Yes definitely. I feel ironically this site has made me live longer. Its the strongest coping mechanism I had and it was the only thing I had. I don't know where i'd be without it

 

[Forever Sleep]

I sort of felt slightly more at ease once I'd started to physically accumulate my method. I don't find researching relaxing though. I tend to catastrophize a lot. How on earth am I going to get hold of that? Is it legal? Will I get a welfair check? Is it legitimate? Is it the right thing? Will I be scammed? How will I store it? Will the neighbours notice? Will it even work?

 

[easypeasy]

It

Yes definitely. I feel ironically this site has made me live longer. Its the strongest coping mechanism I had and it was the only thing I had. I don't know where i'd be without it

is ironic. I agree. I think it's a testament to speaking more openly about suicide and suicidal thoughts…I think there is a lot of room to grow and expand on these ideas we all keep secret, or share safely here.

 

[NegevChina]

This site saved my life or at least prevented me from pointlessly injuring my self with methods that would have failed. Also gave me a reason to live- research for a more peaceful method, and by that definitely relaxing me. When I started researching I was in total panic. I'm now relaxed, have my peaceful method ready with all the equipment I need, just waiting for the right time when I have the courage.

 

[cciro]

Reasearching isn't relaxing exactly, but it is comforting. It's nice knowing that when I have to, I know how to make sure its quick and painless.

 

[failure_consumes]

Today I was searching the internet for answers to my question: will the following combination of medicine cause cbt?

2g Cimetidine (Antacid)
500mg of diazepam (I could collect more if needed)
8grams Amitriptilyne (made as a suspension)
100mg Digoxin (made is a suspension)

I came across this piece of info: Amitryptiline Reactions which would suggest I could cbt without SN or N, or which I am unable to obtain either. Id previously thought I needed P'tol.

Anyway, I am wondering two things…. The original outline that I researched a year ago, suggested to use digoxin as a cardiac switch with the Amit, but the above article does not require it. So….i.m wondering…is it better to use digoxin and Amit or omit the Digoxin altogether.

I have attached two screenshots regarding Digoxin use in cbt. The 2nd photo is interesting. It suggests a completed cbt attempt with digoxin, Ondansetron, Amit, Diazepam, Digoxin and Meto. It's the 5th case from the bottom of the table.

The second thing I wonder is if anybody else finds comfort and is relaxed by doing research? I certainly feel less tension when I feel like I'm making progress towards something feasible.

I do not wish to die or encourage others to do so. I do empathaise with others in debilitating pain, as that is what happened to me 6 years ago. And the only reason I am considering my options on cbt.

Don't know if it's relaxing exactly, but I find myself seeking and reading publications about suicide and methods. As an academic, my brain works in a certain way in which it requires quantitative and objective evidence. So, seeing images, reading about the details, and comparing the numbers give me more reassurance I guess since I want the most success.