Venting Does it ever get better?

[Life_and_Death]

Rhetorical please dont answer.

So firstly, i spent yesterday in selfhatred looking at my scars (and whatever i put in my post before bed. Click me). Then last night i wake up mid-night. Perfect thats just what i need with work at 2am. Not that it matters, i havent had a good sleep since moving (what a month ago? Definitely 2 weeks to a month). And then i wake up and do some googling. Good! Just perfect. My baby girl (june specifically) needs to go to the vet. It doesnt look that bad so im hopeful i can get off lucky with antibiotics HOWEVER im not exactly rich so we have to wait 2 weeks for next pay hoping it doesnt get worse. And then on my way out the door to work i catch my heel on the door. Then i catch the same foot in a rut. But what topped it off was when i fell down a set of stairs. (Edit: This hurts a lot more then when i originally fell. I didnt want my foot. ouch!) I just started bawling right there. Picked myself up, messaged hubby because i was alone and continued going in tears.

Ive so fucking had it with this world. Oh and im sure it can be guessed my "suicide open" date got pushed back again. No matter how i feel i cant leave my baby like this. Perfect...

 

[heretogethelp]

Rhetorical please dont answer.

So firstly, i spent yesterday in selfhatred looking at my scars (and whatever i put in my post before bed. Click me). Then last night i wake up mid-night. Perfect thats just what i need with work at 2am. Not that it matters, i havent had a good sleep since moving (what a month ago? Definitely 2 weeks to a month). And then i wake up and do some googling. Good! Just perfect. My baby girl (june specifically) needs to go to the vet. It doesnt look that bad so im hopeful i can get off lucky with antibiotics HOWEVER im not exactly rich so we have to wait 2 weeks for next pay hoping it doesnt get worse. And then on my way out the door to work i catch my heel on the door. Then i catch the same foot in a rut. But what topped it off was when i fell down a set of stairs. (Edit: This hurts a lot more then when i originally fell. I didnt want my foot. ouch!) I just started bawling right there. Picked myself up, messaged hubby because i was alone and continued going in tears.

Ive so fucking had it with this world. Oh and im sure it can be guessed my "suicide open" date got pushed back again. No matter how i feel i cant leave my baby like this. Perfect...

Personally, I don't think it ever gets better. You just find ways to distract yourself to numb the pain :(

 

[FuneralCry]

Life can simply be so exhausting. I know what it's like when life just turns against you, so many things can go wrong and it can leave you feeling hopeless. I wish you the best.

 

[Life_and_Death]

My baby girl (june specifically) needs to go to the vet. It doesnt look that bad so im hopeful i can get off lucky with antibiotics HOWEVER im not exactly rich so we have to wait 2 weeks for next pay hoping it doesnt get worse

just thought id update, it seems to be getting better but im still going to keep an eye on it in case it comes back. i have to go pick something up from the vet anyway so im going to ask and just double check its all cool. but thats still a week and a half out.