Does death bring any of you peace?

[thendisnear]

Knowing that I will soon be ctb brings me peace. I was wondering if it did to anyone else? I constantly am in pain 24/7 since my wife has died, but knowing soon that I will be joining her brings my peace in a way. Every time I think about leaving and knowing that I won't be here much longer brings me indescribable peace.

 

[outrider567]

Same--can not enjoy anything since since my girlfriend of 35 years died in January--Just going thru the motions with different degrees of Depression each day---I interact with people at times but I see them as little more than ghosts, or maybe I'm the ghost I don't know---I remember a scene from Star Trek Next Generation long ago when all-knowing Guynan said ominously to Captain Picard about a crew member: 'She shouldn't be here on this ship'----That's the way I feel about myself since January, I shouldn't be here

 

[thendisnear]

Yea, my wife died a week ago. I think of her every second of every day. I know I will never be happy again, she was my soulmate and gave me my reason for continuing to live. When she died I did too, i'm just an empty shell and i've been trying to keep going for the sake of not putting my family in pain but I cannot live this way, this is no way to live. So now that I know what i'm going to do, it brings me more peace than anything else does.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

I am caring for my elderly mother. I find great comfort knowing that as soon as she passes away, I will join her and finally be done with this painful existence.

 

[Brianiskillingme]

Knowing that I will soon be ctb brings me peace. I was wondering if it did to anyone else? I constantly am in pain 24/7 since my wife has died, but knowing soon that I will be joining her brings my peace in a way. Every time I think about leaving and knowing that I won't be here much longer brings me indescribable peace.

I am a widow as well. It is hard being without them. I am not sure how much longer I will stay here on Earth.

 

[FuneralCry]

The thought of dying does comfort me a lot and it is all that I want. I believe that when we die, we cease to exist and that is it for us, we are gone. To me that is true peace, peace that cannot be experienced in life.

To me, non existence is always preferable to living. If I am dead, nothing can hurt me and I cannot suffer. I just wish that it is easier to leave, that is all. I think that if I was planning to ctb soon and I had a peaceful and reliable way to exit I would certainly be relieved. It is sad how so many of us live lives filled with pain. I hope that all those who suffer find some kind of peace.

 

[annique]

I'd say a mix of peace and anxiety, although these two are opposites. When I know that I have a way out, I feel relief and peace. But I feel anxious once I'm actually planning my departure.

 

[hungry_ghost]

I don't think death really ends anything; that's the problem.

So even if I had foolproof method, there is still the wariness about what's on the other side.

 

[annique]

Yea, my wife died a week ago. I think of her every second of every day. I know I will never be happy again, she was my soulmate and gave me my reason for continuing to live. When she died I did too, i'm just an empty shell and i've been trying to keep going for the sake of not putting my family in pain but I cannot live this way, this is no way to live. So now that I know what i'm going to do, it brings me more peace than anything else does.

I'm so sorry for your loss ...

 

[Portor25]

I lost my wife this years she is my soul mate my home my best friend. When my wife died I died as well I am a empty she I can not even connect with our kids

I have put plans in place so with in 10 months when insurance suicide clause becomes active i will take the plung need to make sure my kids get left something as my brother will be taking them in
I will be downing 300ml liquid morphine and I hope that enough to end my pain. I will either be with my wife again or if there nothing at least either way the pain stops

 

[Worndown]

Yea, my wife died a week ago. I think of her every second of every day. I know I will never be happy again, she was my soulmate and gave me my reason for continuing to live. When she died I did too, i'm just an empty shell and i've been trying to keep going for the sake of not putting my family in pain but I cannot live this way, this is no way to live. So now that I know what i'm going to do, it brings me more peace than anything else does.

I understand that you are going through hopeless grief and the mourning will go on, is there nothing to keep you with us? A week is not enough time to process this. I am not a pro life advocate but more anti haste.
I am sorry you both have experienced this.

 

[pleasehelpme]

I don't think death really ends anything; that's the problem.

So even if I had foolproof method, there is still the wariness about what's on the other side.

I have the same fear, yet I am so terrified of the future I want to end it before it gets too bad and my fears have become the present moment... But I don't know how and I hate myself for it

 

[eternalflame]

Well we are all gonna die in the end. I was thinking about doing some good deeds just in case of afterlife but i have little energy and ideas.

 

[pleasehelpme]

Well we are all gonna die in the end. I was thinking about doing some good deeds just in case of afterlife but i have little energy and ideas.

I wish I could help others too, but I don't know how... I wish I could start my life over with the knowledge I have now, so I could make different choices, but I don't know how to start from this terrible state...

 

[eternalflame]

I have thought about donating organs after my death, not sure if they are any good though. Also i don't think about leaving a note because i might fail with my conviction.

 

[thendisnear]

I understand that you are going through hopeless grief and the mourning will go on, is there nothing to keep you with us? A week is not enough time to process this. I am not a pro life advocate but more anti haste.
I am sorry you both have experienced this.

Yea, I have processed it. My mind is set my friend.

 

[Ash’Girl]

I found this site a few weeks after my partner died. In the depths of despair I took my intense ideation and started to really research methods, and this site popped up.

Knowing I am armed with the knowledge began to make me feel calmer. I've always suffered suicidal ideation, it's not new, but it's now with an intent higher than it has ever been. But I don't want to mess it up: I want to know when I follow through that I have the highest chance of success, and so I read, research, and practice.

Maybe as time passes ironically it will be the relative peace that the knowledge of my options gives me that "saves" me. People don't get that, I suppose, the knowledge for me is a security blanket. Either way, I am glad I found this site when I did. I've mostly lurked and read, a lot. But it helps me.

 

[Worndown]

Yea, I have processed it. My mind is set my friend.

I hope you find the peace you seek.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, it brings me great peace and relief to know that one day, I won't have to try anymore. It will all be over.

I once left a job I found incredibly stressful and the feeling of freedom was amazing. Funny thing is though- depending on what you believe of course- I think a lot of us hope for nothing after this life. Consciousness being a big part of the problem. Yet- if there really is nothing, we won't feel anything- so we won't get to enjoy that feeling of peace and release. Sort of wonder if you experience it just before you go but I guess that depends on how you go.

 

[Zerengin96]

Not really, i will cause immense pain on some people with my suicide

 

[Idontmatter]

I'm at peace with my decision and thinking about it brings me peace. My only guilt will be how devastated my husband will be after I'm gone. I have a little over 2 weeks left before I ctb.

 

[TheYounger]

Yes. Peace from the pain and torment I've been experiencing.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I don't think it really brings peace because I'm not around to experience it but it does end suffering

 

[wanttodie]

yes it dos

 

[Sniffer]

I suffer from bizarre Tinnitus and the thought of having a peaceful death option comforts me. Every second of the day is torture with electricity swirling around my head. I just wish I could die naturally so that it won't effect my family as much.

 

[nys]

It does a little...like another user said it doesn't give me peace since to feel relief/peace I'd have to be alive, but it does mean my problems are gone. Death kinda scares me bc i know its permanent and once I do it that's it and I won't be able to get a second chance but at the same time my life is rlly bad with problems that cant be solved so i'm choosing death as the lesser of two evils, i don't rlly feel peaceful abt it tho, just sorta sad/scared but also happy/excited my problems will end, idk if that makes sense

 

[Lost Magic]

It does bring me peace but also makes me anxious at the same time. I don't want to be in this living nightmare but at the same time this is all I know. I don't know what happens next, but I guess that's a good thing.