Yes and no. I didn't used to care about online anxiety because I figured nobody would ever give a shit about anything I had to say, I was just venting.
Over the years though, I have been doxxed and harassed by many groups and people who apparently cared very much about what I had to say. For awhile it increased my anxiety, but now that there's nothing left to lose, I no longer give a shit what people say or think, their harassment has always just been a petty little joke to me.
I mean, what is the point of harassing someone who is already suicidal? To make me kill myself,which I was already gonna do anyway? It's so childish and stupid that I can't even get upset about it anymore, I just don't care. I cared while it affected my job, but only because being broke made me homeless. I never cared what any of my harassers thought of me; the harassment was intended to
make me care what they thought by hurting me, but I still don't give a shit. Who the fuck cares what idiots and lowlives think?
In fact they did me a favor by trying to ruin my life and fuck up my job. I'm actually doing better now in most ways.
i feel goddamn stupid for even saying this, but for me it's like the anonymity and relative "safety" of the internet just don't exist. i get very overwhelmed sometimes when watching videos or listening to things, i get second hand embarassment or just feel ashamed of myself. it's hard to watch live action videos with actual people in them sometimes so i just scroll down and listen. or watch like a little bit. i don't really "enjoy" things for this reason, be it music or video games or even videos. i just feel too ashamed of myself, so i usually do anything and have no hobbies. i'm always deeply uncomfortable with everything and everyone.
I feel/felt this in many ways but I think years of being conditioned to hide it kinda overloaded-the-circuitry for discomfort. I always feel deeply uncomfortable with everyone and everything, but it's led me to defiance rather than shame.
Instead of "this is so uncomfortable, I feel so ashamed."
Try "This is so uncomfortable but it's not my fault, I didn't ask to come here, so I DON'T GIVE A FUCK."
Cultivate the idea that hopelessness frees you from the obligation to give a shit. Not just your own hopelessness, but the world's.
The world was a hopeless horrible mess long before you came, and you are powerless to fix it, so what's to be ashamed of? You're no worse than all the other human-monsters who inhabit this planet, and if you don't want to hurt others, you're actually better than most of them.
Hope this helps. It's all I got.
