Does anyone else feel like they are on a 'train' to death?

[Beachedwhale]

There are still things I'm trying to do to be able to fix my health and my life, but I honestly feel like I am on a train to death. Over time I am slowly feeling worse and closer to death. I am struggling to put effort to fix myself, and I am trying...but the train chugs along nonetheless.

I am dreading the end of lockdown and the inevitable explosion of people enjoying themselves while I am left out.

I need to fix my health, but...I just feel like I am on this train and I can't really get off until my problems are fully sorted, and I can't wait months or years for more repeated failures, just like the past decade of stagnation and failure.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, in spite of being doing my best to live, I feel just like you.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I can relate to this. I know death is the only option for me, and even if I try to improve, more bad things will happen which are completely out of my control. I feel like i'm cursed or something. It is simply inevitable that I am this way, nothing could have prevented it.

 

[landojustwannactb]

I can relate too. At least u still have a shot at fixing ur health, i dont. As each day passes shit only gets worse for me. Not only is my health degenerating but also my mental as well. Each night i wish i could just sleep and never wake up. Ive tried to go many times already but something always comes up or i make an excuse to postpone ctb. But now everything is ready ive wrote letters ive said my goodbyes and ive designated my belongings to my sister or immediate family. Death is awaiting me now, its the only solution. Im just waiting for the right day and time, knowing that there is no right day or time. But ik for a fact that that day is around the corner. I can feel it in my bones. Tonight might be that right time. I always wanted to go out on a gloomy day and fortunately its gloomy where im from today. I always had a thing for gloomy days as a kid haha. I long for all the suffering to just end.

 

[noname223]

Everything becomes worse. I see it coming and it seems pretty unavoidable.

 

[motel rooms]

There are still things I'm trying to do to be able to fix my health and my life, but I honestly feel like I am on a train to death. Over time I am slowly feeling worse and closer to death. I am struggling to put effort to fix myself, and I am trying...but the train chugs along nonetheless.

Does anyone else feel like this? Only about 99 % of people on here...