Does anyone else dream about their reason to ctb?

[HereToday]

My abusive ex is one of the reasons I'm ctb. The straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. We have no contact. He ghosted me after promising he'd be with me through all of this.
Every single night without fail I dream about him. I say dream, but 99% of the time it's nightmares. I just woke up from another one. Most nights I stay awake until sunrise because I don't want to close my eyes and see him again. It doesn't make a difference though, I still see him regardless. It's driving me insane. I can't deal with this every single night. I'm going to have to move up my ctb date.

 

[porfin1234]

I keep dreaming about my old home and being taken back at my old job

 

[HereToday]

I keep dreaming about my old home and being taken back at my old job

Interesting. I guess those aren't the reasons you're ctb, but it seems like you're subconsciously trying to find ways to fix things

 

[reapandsow918]

Yes. I dreamed about saying goodbye to my family for the last time without mentioning anything suspicious then I went back home and took SN. After I "dream attempt" I feel at peace then wake up realizing it never happened and get disappointed.

 

[Bruceleelives1969]

i keep dreaming that i am healthy and not sick and then i wake up and want to CTB.

 

[porfin1234]

Interesting. I guess those aren't the reasons you're ctb, but it seems like you're subconsciously trying to find ways to fix things

No that is why Im CBTing.
I left amazing job and now have crap one I can't do well and career going down drain
Messed up living situation pretty bad
Always had issues with self loathing but life will never be the same and I'm pretty done with myself... I was at my peak and threw it all away.

edit: I keep saying CBT hah. CTB... (confused with DBT I guess lol)