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aussieskid

New Member
Jul 20, 2025
2
Plenty. I've also had multiple dreams that have had my death in them. My death always ended up being from guns. One where my mother shot me In the back of my head and another where I was the first victim of a mass shooting in a mall.
 
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W

Warriorsfan

I'm just waiting on a friend (partner)
Jun 15, 2023
131
I want to die in my sleep.
So I prepare myself for not waking up.
I say I. Want to die tonight so I'm well aware of this. It's like knowing in advance I'll be dead.
 
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I

InTheAbyss

Member
Jul 30, 2024
81
All the time. The thought of dying is one of the few things left to give me any peace. It's getting about time I turned fantasies into reality.
 
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H

hmnow

Member
Jul 29, 2025
62
Yes I do
Every time I pass a structure or fo into. Building I looke for good anchor points
 
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spookyjar

spookyjar

New Member
Aug 18, 2025
2
Almost daily, I often feel relief thinking about how I could stop myself from suffering.
 
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MementoMori333

MementoMori333

But, it refused.
Aug 18, 2025
4
I've always been extremely suicidal, and at my lowest I would think about blowing my head off. I would vividly imagine the surroundings and how it would look and feel.

Recently, I had two terrible breakdowns in the past few weeks and I came very close to running in front of car. As in literally standing on the edge at one point and getting scared because it turned out to be a bus I think, and another time I was in the middle of the road and a big car drove past and I just didn't decide to go infront of it.

Now, everytime I see a car I think about jumping infront of it, and how it would feel. I see big cars or trucks or buses and I think "wow that would fuck me up". I also have started to look at tall buildings and visualise a body falling off, imagining the speed, the sound of impact, stuff like that. I also constantly think about an accident happening whenever I'm in a car.

Idk I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else just vivdly fantasises about dying, and imagining the feeling and aftermath. Sometimes when I'm standing right on the edge of a busy road, I get such a rush thinking "one step and I'll be hit".

What do you guys think?
At my worst I was personally fascinated by the idea of stabbing myself. Unsure of why such a violent way, but it wouldnt leave my mind. I guess because it might make people finally take me seriously? Stabbing is something a truly desperate person would do and is an uncommon method in general. What hurts is that even then I had the consequences for other people in mind so I would've stabbed myself in the bathtub because it would be the easiest to clean.
I've been thinking about "what if *insert illness* happened to me?" for a long time tbh, I think I just liked the idea of someone caring for me. My parents weren't the best in terms of properly caring for me and it still bothers me years after. I just wanna feel like someone truly cares about me.
The closest I got to actually dying in a violent way was when I was walking across the road while being zoned out due to strong emotions and a car almost hit me. I got a great adrenaline rush from that and I kinda miss it. I'm in recovery now and I really shouldn't, but I do. I think that's the most alive I've felt.
 
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M

Mytimeisending

theendisinevitable
Aug 10, 2025
45
Yes as a child I remember closing my eyes wishing I was dead, picturing what my death would look like, how I would do it etc, little me was so desperate for an escape, death semt the only option.
 
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