L I F E T O L O S E
only you can stop the evil
- Sep 18, 2020
- 465
know, they also know that I use this forum, they would probably blame this place for my actions.
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LaminarFlow
Member
- Feb 1, 2021
- 26
My sister knows.
We are close but don't see each other much. She knows what I have been through and how much I am suffering. One day I choked up a bit when she simply asked me how I was doing she asked me bluntly if I had plans to hurt myself. It was so obvious it was not really a question but a way to tell me she knew about my intentions and an invitation to talk if I wanted to. I love my sister; I cannot lie to her. So I told her.
I told her about my plans, not in every detail, but she understood I was extremely determined and well advanced in my preparations. In the following weeks we had several open and very intense discussions, and she was incredibly respectful. In the end she told me it made her sad, she did not want me to go, but that she would support me entirely whatever my decision. I know it is a incredible act of love to be able to accept my suicide, without judgment, without putting her fears before my suffering.
A friend of mine also knows. She, too, asked me bluntly one day. I didn't hide I had suicidal thoughts, but I didn't want to scare her and put her in a difficult situation, so we talk more about life than death. She knows when to nudge me, gives me a wink and a smile, and drags me out when I feel low. I know she is there for me.
Many of my other friends are certainly aware too, but they don't ask so I don't tell. I believe they prefer not to know and would be uncomfortable if suicide came up in the conversation. They wouldn't know how to react and it would make our relation awkward. So we tacitly behave 'normally' and that's ok. I expect they will be only half-surprised when I will ctb.
We are close but don't see each other much. She knows what I have been through and how much I am suffering. One day I choked up a bit when she simply asked me how I was doing she asked me bluntly if I had plans to hurt myself. It was so obvious it was not really a question but a way to tell me she knew about my intentions and an invitation to talk if I wanted to. I love my sister; I cannot lie to her. So I told her.
I told her about my plans, not in every detail, but she understood I was extremely determined and well advanced in my preparations. In the following weeks we had several open and very intense discussions, and she was incredibly respectful. In the end she told me it made her sad, she did not want me to go, but that she would support me entirely whatever my decision. I know it is a incredible act of love to be able to accept my suicide, without judgment, without putting her fears before my suffering.
A friend of mine also knows. She, too, asked me bluntly one day. I didn't hide I had suicidal thoughts, but I didn't want to scare her and put her in a difficult situation, so we talk more about life than death. She knows when to nudge me, gives me a wink and a smile, and drags me out when I feel low. I know she is there for me.
Many of my other friends are certainly aware too, but they don't ask so I don't tell. I believe they prefer not to know and would be uncomfortable if suicide came up in the conversation. They wouldn't know how to react and it would make our relation awkward. So we tacitly behave 'normally' and that's ok. I expect they will be only half-surprised when I will ctb.
wanttodie
Enlightened
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1,827
Yes, i confessed to several friends that I'd wanted to kill myself, but since they only knew me as a jokester i guess they didnt think i was being serious. They just wanted to call me "funny."
I did tell my mother, but i have a post explaining that. Tldr she is ok with it and wishes me luck
I did tell my mother, but i have a post explaining that. Tldr she is ok with it and wishes me luck
LONE WOLF.
PUNISHER.
- Nov 4, 2020
- 1,990
No family No friends so No-one to tell, Shrinks are as much use as a Fart in the wind!
BeansOfRequirement
Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,810
Ender
..
- Dec 29, 2020
- 269
I've tried to ctb 7 years ago and was scrutinized for a long time, but now I have a steady job and I'm off the meds for almost 2 years. Nobody suspects I want to ctb again.
Not for real anyway. I do slip sometimes and say something along those lines, but that is shrugged off as me seeking attention or something.
I intend to keep it that way. Nothing good has ever come of me confiding about my state of mind. And it's a perfect opportunity to plan my next move, or couple of moves. Arrange some options.
Not for real anyway. I do slip sometimes and say something along those lines, but that is shrugged off as me seeking attention or something.
I intend to keep it that way. Nothing good has ever come of me confiding about my state of mind. And it's a perfect opportunity to plan my next move, or couple of moves. Arrange some options.
