Do you want to make it through the holidays for your family/friends?

[Deleted member 10090]

Wondering how many people here feel too much guilt to ctb during the holidays?

 

[Deadweight]

Yes, I do. I don't what the holidays ruined for them, don't want it to be a reminder, so I'm waiting

 

[deleted]

they never cared about me so i don't care about them family to me is just a blood tie that means nothing i won't ctb this year but i would do near the end of the year and christmas

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't particularly care about them so no.

 

[Deleted member 10090]

It seems increasingly more difficult to hang on for my family as another reason to stay but i'm dreading the holidays.
I really am not a fan of xmas but I know both my parents are. I don't really think there is ever a "good" time to go through with it, i assume each holiday after will leave them with a bit of a hole but I hope they understand I tried.
I definitely cannot live for other people forever, even though it's not my main reason for still being here but the holidays are making it a lot worse in terms of trying to CTB.

 

[Elegy]

Not me. Count me out.

 

[ClownMe]

Not really my family, I could care less about them to be blunt, im mainly only staying alive for my dog.

 

[FuneralCry]

I would never postpone my plans for other people. It is my life and my decision and I have the right to exit at a time of my own choosing, I never asked to exist. The 'holidays' mean nothing to me, it is just another day.

 

[Dot]

Ys. Cldnt d/ tht 2 own fmly.

 

[Kobusu]

I would feel guilty, but every day it hurts more and eventually it'll hurt too much to care about the guilt tbh.

 

[deletedaccount30982]

i don't want to ruin the holidays for them and it has been a reason for me to wait during previous attempts. and although this may sound selfish because i have an incredibly caring and loving family, i am no longer holding on for them. i love them unconditionally (aside from my mother who i am estranged from) and i don't want to leave them at all, but i have held on for them for many years and can no longer do it. currently what is holding me back is that it is cold outside and i plan on ctb in the woods

 

[Sad_Sack]

This is a difficult situation for me as I don't want to experience another Thanksgiving or Christmas like this. I don't want to leave my family with the memory of me killing myself every holiday season for the rest of their life though. Also its my daughters last Christmas at home this year. I just wish I would die in my sleep.

 

[sevenkarmas]

I don't want to do it in the week leading up to the holiday, but more than likely immediately after.

 

[Someday_Somehow32]

Same, I can't do it around holidays, I hate the idea of my family freaking out around the holidays because of me

 

[Wannagonow]

Nope. Can't do it around the holidays. It's hard though as my BPD and major depression are always working at full speed this time of year.

 

[radical blue]

I am basically living for my parents and nephew. But if I can get a hold of SN I won't wait.

 

[treetop.grazer]

I need to make it through the holidays, partially for my kids but also the 2 year suicide clause on my life insurance comes to an end in a couple of months. I've been trying various things to make it look like an accident but it's hard. So figured may as well just wait until I don't have to and it opens up so many more options for CTB for me.

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

I'm not really holding on for family any longer. Don't have the strength. Although I have thought of postponing for a little while because of my friend's exam. I want her to have dealt with the grief, so it doesn't affect her grades.

But ultimately, due to the fickle nature of will and the amount of luck that hanging requires, it's best to do it whenever I get the opportunity

 

[DeathDodger]

I'm actually planning to ctb before Christmas or before my birthday on January. What keeps me from doing it is the thought that all my loved ones will not be able to celebrate the holidays because of my death