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death137

death137

miserable
Jun 25, 2020
1,166
I feel even if a miracle happens and I become mentally stable, suicide is still inevitable. In the past 4-5 years I've became so self destructive that my future is doomed. I've given away my dream. But the reality is I won't even become mentally stable and when you add the darkness of my future suicide becomes even more inevitable. I'm just waiting my planned date.
 
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Deardaddy

Deardaddy

Student
May 20, 2019
172
I wish. But the world's stigmas too strong. I do not know but it is like a flip of coin . If I live in darkness all the time can u give me one good reason no to ctb. Please don't tell me abt loved ones blanbla bla . It's the primary reason I like to ctb.
 
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Riley [CTBus]

Riley [CTBus]

Wizard
Aug 8, 2020
604
I am 100 percent sure I will die by suicide.
 
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LetzteAusfahrt

LetzteAusfahrt

Swiss gay, will definitely ctb on October 10th
Jun 27, 2020
590
I have known for 37 years that I will not die of old age. Since the middle of March I also know what day it will be and have not doubted it for a second since then.

There is only one way that I would still postpone ctb.

If I won enough money in the lottery to start an euthanasia organization to support everyone with their ctb. Regardless of his age or health, as long as he can understand what ctb means.

Those who are rich should donate something for it, those who are poor are sponsored.

So that the misery with the pro-life idiots finally comes to an end. It's just a dream sadly, but the only reason I would postpone.
 
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S

stillweary

Member
May 15, 2020
74
I think it can get to that point. I may be there now. I used to think about suicide when I was deeply depressed, but now, suicidal thoughts and methods just bring me a deep sense of contentment.
 
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LetzteAusfahrt

LetzteAusfahrt

Swiss gay, will definitely ctb on October 10th
Jun 27, 2020
590
I think it can get to that point. I may be there now. I used to think about suicide when I was deeply depressed, but now, suicidal thoughts and methods just bring me a deep sense of contentment.
The wonderful feeling of satisfaction when you have found the emergency exit and know that the suffering can soon come to an end.

I call it happiness
 
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Lupgevif

Lupgevif

.
Jul 23, 2020
928
I could turn back. But so many unlikely conditions should be met, so it's never really happening. Mind you, I'm not talking about life-changing miracles, these conditions are realistic and possible, I just don't think I have what it takes + life won't allow it (like it hasn't for years now).
 
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BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,359
There is so much I'd need to achieve and do in order to have some sort of normality, not including having stable bipolar and borderline which just feels so unlikely. I'd love to think there is a way out for me, but I've thought about it time and time and time again and the conclusion is always the same; I have to commit suicide.
 
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A

alexit

Mage
Jun 3, 2020
520
I feel even if a miracle happens and I become mentally stable, suicide is still inevitable. In the past 4-5 years I've became so self destructive that my future is doomed. I've given away my dream. But the reality is I won't even become mentally stable and when you add the darkness of my future suicide becomes even more inevitable. I'm just waiting my planned date.
Could my life standard be better? Sure. But I'm fucked beyond repair.
 
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AlreadyGone

AlreadyGone

Taking it day by day
Jan 11, 2020
917
Yeah. At this point, I simply do not believe that my life will go in the direction that I wanted it to go. I tried for 20 years to mold my life into a life I wanted and at this point, I just give up. I am simply not motivated anymore to attempt to make improvements.
 
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VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
Aug 10, 2020
1,156
theoretically, i could turn back, but i don't like the thought of living as just another cog in the machine. i can't even imagine it, much less being truly happy.
 
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