do you think you might be able to recover

[hopscotch]

what the title says. i doubt it's going to be many people who say yes, but do you think anything could ever make you stop looking to ctb? what is it? me personally, no.

 

[maynoname]

No, because every time there is an obstacle in my life, I tell myself that it would be better if I were dead

 

[mashiroll]

genuinely dont know

im stuck in this weird gray area where i do see some hope in life, but there's always that thought of "everything's better if i had just died" plaguing me regularly.
there are times id just sit on the ledge of my balcony with this idea of:
if i fall, thats it, i did it. if i get off then i guess ill just have to keep going and try another day.

 

[badtothebone]

NO

 

[hopscotch]

genuinely dont know

im stuck in this weird gray area where i do see some hope in life, but there's always that thought of "everything's better if i had just died" plaguing me regularly.
there are times id just sit on the ledge of my balcony with this idea of:
if i fall, thats it, i did it. if i get off then i guess ill just have to keep going and try another day.

sounds like you still can find some joy in existing yet. wishing you all the best i hope you do find it

 

[Tesha]

I really want to - but what level of longer term recovery I'd be able to achieve is debatable. At the moment, I'm just trying to get out of crisis…

It's pretty crap when I'm trying to convince myself that any sort of improvement in my suicidal ideation, self harm or CPTSD symptoms should be acceptable. In an ideal world, I wouldn't have to live with any of it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Recovery is possible - but not for everyone. In my case, a full recovery would be possible but it cannot be achieved. The things that caused me depressive episodes and made me actively suicidal calmed down, I'm at a low level and it's not that bad. I'm not super happy but it also didn't become worse. I'm still passively suicidal and if things become worse I'm sure that I will become actively suicidal quickly. Yet I feel that I kind of recovered from the lows I had last year.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No. The concept of recovery isn't applicable to me as my issues are with life itself. Whenever I see people talking about recovery, they're referring to being a successful normie. However, I don't want to be a normie at all. I don't want to work or do responsibilities. The people who talk about recovery are okay with being a wage slave as they're suicidal for other reasons. In some cases, they're suicidal because they can't be a normie well enough. I'm different to them as I hate life as well as being a human. I think that being a human is a curse for me

 

[27ClubSoon]

No, there is nothing in my control. I've done everything I can, circumstances around me have done this to me and they won't change.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

It's too late for me now. There was a time I would have said yes. But now nobody can argue me out my nihilism.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

To me accepting life is like me accepting me being kidnapped and tortured.

I will never accept life , existence , consciousness , or this evil world, no matter the circumstances

Non-existence asap is what I long for . Imo Doing otherwise is me accepting prison, kidnapping, torture slavery

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's not impossible. Recovery for me would be to be doing better in my creative career and probably to have a more balanced life with people in it. Both of those things require a lot of risk. A lot of potential for rejection and disappointment. They both require confronting the things that scare me the most. I've tried in the past to do those things and they have ended up making me feel even more unhappy! So really, the question becomes- are you willing to put yourself through a whole bunch of frightening and uncomfortable scenarios with the slim hope that you might succeed? (Unlikely with all the competition.) Are you willing to risk failure, harsh criticism, a whole bunch of things you've been trying to avoid on the off chance it might make you feel better? Even though- it hasn't worked in the past? Probably not! The truth is- I don't feel like I have the determination, motivation, belief or resilience for recovery now. It feels like something you need to really want to have a chance at succeeding at.

 

[kyhoti]

I fought for over 30 years, sometimes in strong recovery, sometimes not. It was a daily battle. I'm broken and tired now, too much to overcome, so my time is here.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I'd never wish to suffer in this futile, cruel and torturous existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, for me having the ability to exist is a dreadful burden and all I wish is to simply be unconscious of it, I only hope and wish to never exist again, I personally find existence itself to be a horrific tragedy that just causes harm, I never want to experience anything again, instead I just want some peace. In my case existence has caused me nothing but pain, I find it painful to simply be conscious and aware, if it's up to me I'd choose to completely erase my existence, more than anything I wish I never suffered at all.

 

[HopeToStay]

Yes, because even though my life has gone completely down the toilet in the last 4 years, it's a drawn-out medical scare that is pushing me towards suicide.

I'm still awaiting yet more medical results, and if it confirms the worst, then there will be absolutely no point in me living - it would be futile to fight to rebuild my life if in 5 years time my quality of life will be appalling anyway.

But if i get the all-clear than i guess i'll be happy to go on. But i must admit, the past 5 months of this have knocked the stuffing out of me mentally, and i'm almost tempted to go through with it regardless now. Because i was kind of living on blind hope before - the idea that i could get my life back to a position where i was happy was theoretically feasible, but improbable if you sat down and scrutinised it. But i never thought about that before i just kept going because there was little other choice. But the events of this year have underscored that life is probably going to throw more shit at me that i hadn't anticipated and my overall situation is going to keep getting worse every year, rather than better. So, is it even worth going on?

 

[badK9wolf]

I honestly hope so. I hope my current situation can get resolved. But it's just one crisis after the next.

 

[Steff1337]

*Almost* not at all.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

No

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Recover to what? Even if "recovered", on the other side, would still have the same effed up life.

 

[Ol Messier 87]

I believed it, but no.

 

[Kish]

No

 

[A Dream of a Dream]

I have recovered in the past, but the outside world, and my inside one fell apart (again). I know recovery is not possible for me, only choosing what I can live with and for how long.

 

[deletedaccount30982]

No. I've tried every form of talk therapy, too many meds to count, many hospitalizations, residential, ECT, lifestyle changes, you name it. There are a few newer treatment options (TMS, DBS, ketamine), but they are difficult to access and I have no faith nor energy left. I have accepted my fate and I think that my mindset would prevent any new treatments from being effective. But I don't see how to change my mindset. I've been fighting for over a decade now. I'm tired. I see now chance at recovery.

 

[ham and potatoes]

I dug myself out of a deep, dark hole over a decade ago
im hoping i have the strength and luck with meds to help me do it again

There are a few newer treatment options (TMS, DBS, ketamine

ive been thinking of DIYing a ketimine treatment. seems easy enough to buy, as my friends do it recreationally from time to time. just not sure how to go about it lol

 

[Demian]

Only by a miracle, literally.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I have no idea that's the thing. I don't know if it's all in my head or not. I am sure of just a few things in life and one of them is that I'm not okay. But if I strive to think about an answer I would say that it's not just in my head, certainly not fully, but I don't think I'd be able to magically make up for years of being broken and alone like if nothing had happened at all. Could I recover? Technically yes with some miracle typa shit. Is that likely to happen? I don't think so at all... Considering how I act.

 

[fatladysings]

I don't have any hope of recovery, hence my name - fatladysings. The saying is that it aint over til the fat lady sings, but my life is pretty much over, so the fat lady is singing.

 

[HarryCobean]

The world is a hostile place I do not wish to live in. I could recover, but the world would need to change a lot and I really don't think that's going to happen.

 

[divinemistress87]

Not enough to make life worth it

 

[cursedbynature64]

I'd like to think so, but with every passing day it seems less and less likely. Ironically getting my SN might improve my mental health, as I will know that I always have a way out if I need to.