Do you think it is a good suggestion to a lonely woman to download a dating app?

[noname223]

There is a woman with BPD in my self-help group. She has such a strong desire for deep connections. She lost all her family members and searches now for someone who cares for her. Something which might make it more difficult for her she is heavily obese and has media addiction.

In my former bipolar group a woman found a boyfriend who cares for her and provides her with money.

If I was a woman I might hope to find a good bf.

But is downloading a dating app really a good decision? Or will she only get Sexually harrassed. I would give her the advice to like men who might not be the most attractive instead men who seem to be honest.

What Do you think?

 

[Dejected 55]

Dating apps are a scam. They make money by having members unable to make connections... IF dating apps worked at all, they would not be a good business model...hence, they aren't intended or designed to be helpful. Meanwhile, a lot of fake accounts, a lot of people who aren't what they say they are, and a lot of people not at all serious... mix in a few people who are serious BUT very picky... and it is almost impossible for anyone, especially anyone "below average" to meet anyone.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It could turn out well. Alternatively, she could just get a whole lot of rejection which, might make her feel worse. Presumably, she's considered doing it herself though? I imagine a lot of lonely people have at least considered it.

 

[eattwinkiesseejesus]

NO

 

[eatantz]

Dating apps have so many creeps but you can meet some really lovely people too, Its a 50/50 chance i think...

 

[princexhhn]

Definitely not a good idea. Better to just introduce her to friends or communities.

 

[Lady_V]

I wish nothing more than to find a partner who loves me just as much as I love them. This summer I got really serious about dating. I've been on dozens of dates now. Yeah, some creeps, but most were okay people, I just didn't feel connected or attracted to them. It makes me feel like shit to turn them down.
I've sworn off dating now. It only made me more depressed and unstable.

 

[Galam]

I bet she will be abused especially then when she has nobody and is so vulnerable. Men use exactly this.

Rather try find a samesex looksmatch for her and support female friendships imo. The face and head sould be similar. I have also nobody and would prefer this over any man.

 

[darksouls]

I have given up hope to find a loving partner a long time ago, I have never downloaded any dating apps, because I think people like me would not use them

 

[avalon_]

She should not even be thinking about starting a relationship while being obese and having a media addiction. She has to sort out her own issues first and then go look for someone who is on equal footing with her. Thinking someome will come along and 'fix' her will only lead her down a path.of misery (and possibly abuse).

On the topic of dating apps: no, they are filled with imbeciles. I've never used one but my intuition tells me this is ttue.

 

[Dejected 55]

She should not even be thinking about starting a relationship while being obese and having a media addiction. She has to sort out her own issues first and then go look for someone who is on equal footing with her. Thinking someome will come along and 'fix' her will only lead her down a path.of misery (and possibly abuse).

On the topic of dating apps: no, they are filled with imbeciles. I've never used one but my intuition tells me this is ttue.

I agree with your sentiment mostly... but why should someone obese "not even be thinking about starting a relationship"? Only non-obese people are worthy of love and companionship?

 

[avalon_]

I agree with your sentiment mostly... but why should someone obese "not even be thinking about starting a relationship"? Only non-obese people are worthy of love and companionship?

No, but in this case it seems to be related to deeper, psychological issues aswell. Also if you want to have some choice as a woman and not be forced to settle with anyone who offers, you'll have to shrink yourself to a size that is consideted acceptable first. Isn't that a fairly common sense thing to say? He mentioned her being heavily obese, mot merely overweight.

 

[fallendevil]

If you want your coochie ate then yeah

 

[Dejected 55]

I mean, I get society generally says thin = pretty... and it's one thing to caution someone that they might want to be healthy or whatever too... but the phrasing of it read to me like saying someone is unloveable unless they are physically perfect so don't even try if you're obese because nobody will ever love an obese person.

Speaking for myself. I've been obese and near zero body fat... and I've had zero girlfriends ever. When I was at my peak physical condition, for years, nobody loved me then either. Frankly it was more depressing being unloved and physically fit than it was being unloved and obese. But that's a different psychopathy.