Do you sometimes order stuff just so you have something to look forward to?

[back_to_oblivion]

I do. For example, I have two hammers on the way right now, a lighter one and a heavier one. I don't really need them right now but I think they're handy to have and they look good. It's just nice to look forward to something. I also like opening packages even though it's not a surprise. Reminds me a bit of that feeling you have when you're opening a gift.

 

[callme]

Hadn't considered hammers. Would give me the illusion of working. It sure looks like a better coping strategy than eating and eating.

What about prayer beads? I wouldn't go fidget spinners or ordinary spinners, they look monotone.

 

[AtMostOkay]

Any excuse for something to look forward to, I know, relate. One moment at a time. Big hugs xo

 

[back_to_oblivion]

Hadn't considered hammers. Would give me the illusion of working. It sure looks like a better coping strategy than eating and eating.

What about prayer beads? I wouldn't go fidget spinners or ordinary spinners, they look monotone.

Nah, a hammer beats all of those.

 

[SentientCreature]

I do like to order books and just stack them on my shelf without ever reading them. But nothing awakens the inner child in me like waiting for a nice-looking pack of SN testing strips. Looking forward to receiving those. It's kinda like completing quests in a video game and this is my final one.

 

[Flippy]

I absolutely do this :-/ Sometimes I buy stuff to repair, other times it's so I can do something creative. I think I expect it to motivate me, and it might do for a time. But I just don't have the energy a lot of the time :-( I got some really quite cool stuff over the last few months, but sadly I don't seem to make much use of it. I suppose if things improve, I might just start getting somewhere with it. Fingers crossed :-/

 

[FuneralCry]

I used to do this in the past, ordering things used to make me feel better. I used to like online shopping, as I have always hated actual shops. Now, buying stuff just seems pointless. I cannot look forward to or enjoy anything.

 

[Flippy]

I used to do this in the past, ordering things used to make me feel better. I used to like online shopping, as I have always hated actual shops. Now, buying stuff just seems pointless. I cannot look forward to or enjoy anything.

This is what worries me. I feel like sometimes the promise of something I might enjoy inspires me for a bit. But then it feels a bit hollow and pointless. I think the events of the last three years have wrung almost the last drop of energy out of me. I'm either in too much pain, too tired, or too lacking in energy with low mood. I used to have so much energy :-(

 

[motel rooms]

Just the occasional mail-order "groom"

 

[Manaaja]

I have wanted to buy a bigger drawing tablet for a year, 13 inch is too small for me. Now that my dog is dead I could buy one to comfort myself, but I feel too shitty to paint or draw. Previously if someone had given me a 24 inch 4k monitor I'd have been so happy, now I'd probably not even open the package.

I don't even want PS5. I wanted that Samsung Flip phone but now I don't want that either. I want my doggy.
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...
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It's odd to not want anything. Or actually, I do want a fucking lot of things. They are just buried under a shitton of loneliness, fear, terror, misery, sadness, anger, hatred, destruction, fucking everything so that I can't even feel them. I just fear I wouldn't get them because the world seems to hate me for a reason it won't tell me.

It's annoying. Previously I was always sure that if I bought something it would work. Now I feel that if I bought a million drawing tablets none of them would work.

 

[callme]

groom

What's that? An escort service or somethin?

 

[motel rooms]

What's that? An escort service or somethin?

No, I only mail-order soulmates

 

[callme]

No, I only mail-order soulmates

How are they soulmates if you don't know them yet..

 

[motel rooms]

How are they soulmates if you don't know them yet..

I send them this gif & if it gives them a chubby, I know we're soulmates

 

[callme]

I send them this gif & if it gives them a chubby, I know we're soulmates

Ahhh! Furry attack..