I think I have that. Not always but maybe I am just not fully aware of it. I think many mentall illnesses can cause that. And yeah I have many mental health conditions.
Currently I recognize one thing. I am thinking a lot about a girl in college. I am overthinking it a lot and overanalyze the situation. My interpretations is either she is a saint who loves me despite the fact I am mentally ill or she is like really evil and wanted to mock me the last time we have met. It is a weird story. I thought she had a crush on me after our second meeting. I showed her a little bit too much that I like her. I starred at her. And I said something corny. She sat to another person when we met for the next time. I assumed I might have been delusional and it was only a delusion that she likes me. I started to ignore her because the situation for me was quite awkward. But she seems to dislike that I ignore her. I don't look at her and avoid any interactions. I have the feeling she does not like that. I have done this now for several weeks. And she tries to get in contact with me. Or at least with the clique (3 people) I surround myself. Last week she started a conversation with me and she sounded really corny when she did that. Honestly women can drive me literally nuts. This can destabilize myself so much. It is really dangerous. It reminds me of Juice WRLD the song suicidal. He raps about being suicidal and in love. Yeah love could kill me. This is a quite serious option.
This was all a lot of off-topic. But at least a good example for a black-white thinking. Though I have way more mental problems. Like the black-white scheme is not my biggest problem. Once I had contact with a borderline girl. It was really extremely insane. We had a double bind. At the end she either treated my like complete shit or was really nice to me. I feel sorry for her. She also experienced abuse. She was in a lot of pain but not suicidal. I think she was the girl who I had the closest relation in my whole life (who is not a relative). She accepted my flaws and I accepted hers. I ask myself what happended to her. And if she would remember me. Maybe she is already dead she had some other conditions which threatened her life. She had really extreme black-white thinking with huge mood swings.
Currently I recognize one thing. I am thinking a lot about a girl in college. I am overthinking it a lot and overanalyze the situation. My interpretations is either she is a saint who loves me despite the fact I am mentally ill or she is like really evil and wanted to mock me the last time we have met. It is a weird story. I thought she had a crush on me after our second meeting. I showed her a little bit too much that I like her. I starred at her. And I said something corny. She sat to another person when we met for the next time. I assumed I might have been delusional and it was only a delusion that she likes me. I started to ignore her because the situation for me was quite awkward. But she seems to dislike that I ignore her. I don't look at her and avoid any interactions. I have the feeling she does not like that. I have done this now for several weeks. And she tries to get in contact with me. Or at least with the clique (3 people) I surround myself. Last week she started a conversation with me and she sounded really corny when she did that. Honestly women can drive me literally nuts. This can destabilize myself so much. It is really dangerous. It reminds me of Juice WRLD the song suicidal. He raps about being suicidal and in love. Yeah love could kill me. This is a quite serious option.
This was all a lot of off-topic. But at least a good example for a black-white thinking. Though I have way more mental problems. Like the black-white scheme is not my biggest problem. Once I had contact with a borderline girl. It was really extremely insane. We had a double bind. At the end she either treated my like complete shit or was really nice to me. I feel sorry for her. She also experienced abuse. She was in a lot of pain but not suicidal. I think she was the girl who I had the closest relation in my whole life (who is not a relative). She accepted my flaws and I accepted hers. I ask myself what happended to her. And if she would remember me. Maybe she is already dead she had some other conditions which threatened her life. She had really extreme black-white thinking with huge mood swings.
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