NSFW Do you have the feeling it would make you (more) happy being able to have sex with anyone you want whenever you want?

[noname223]

The answer of David Foster Wallace is the following-

He consistently argued that the pursuit of instant gratification including the "bizarre adolescent idea that getting to have sex with whomever one wants whenever one wants is a cure for ontological despair"—is actually a source of profound loneliness, emptiness, and self-contempt.

The irony is DFW always talked how lonely sex with strangers was. But he had a lot of sex with strangers.

I think a personal relationship would be more important to me and an emotional bonding. I am a man by the way. Lol. The thought of being able to sleep with anyone you want (I think one should emphasize in this scenario there is obviousyl consent) is thrilling. But it might become boring and meaningless after a while. But I am not fully sure.

 

[Dejected 55]

If you were truly able to have sex with anyone at anytime, it might not cheapen the act of sex itself or even make you disrespect those people... but it would mean more superficial satisfaction. You would have your moment of instant gratification with nothing meaningful to linger after. You'd be constantly chasing that high like a drug and need more and more to come close to satisfaction.

Whereas a deep meaningful connection gives you so much more than sex... and, oh by the way, it would make the sex way more intense and meaningful too. Somehow in modern society we have all but abandoned meaningful connection as far as I can see. Nobody wants to put time or thought into anything or anyone.

 

[Lamentice]

I don't and never have experienced sexual attraction and lean sex negative (although, strangely, not sex repulsed).

Anyway, this would not make me happy but does sound like the concept of a nightmare to me.

 

[violetforever]

i just want to be able to talk to whoever i want whenever i want…im so sad lol.

Whereas a deep meaningful connection gives you so much more than sex... and, oh by the way, it would make the sex way more intense and meaningful too. Somehow in modern society we have all but abandoned meaningful connection as far as I can see. Nobody wants to put time or thought into anything or anyone.

i really dont understand how people dont value it at all. lasting connection vs short term pleasure. idk.

 

[Aknu132]

it would be more happy for me for sure cause i'm still a virgin and my sexual desire is strong, but it won't fix my depression, and i prefer so much one single person that i can trust and love and have similar mentality than various strangers.

 

[Dejected 55]

There's also a faction of people that views monogamy as boring. I understand to some extent that human beings aren't necessarily naturally wired for monogamy... but to me, there's something amazing about the idea of loving someone so much and having her love me and we have no interest in anyone else because we are each other's home... and if you really love someone you could spend a lifetime learning everything about them and still not have enough time to learn everything and experience everything... so the boredom thing just doesn't hit me. If you get bored with someone, then they aren't your person or you aren't theirs and you were mismatched... I think with the right person, commitment becomes natural and relatively easy because you want them that much.

But what do I know. I've never been in a relationship, no one ever loved me, and it's all just theory in my mind of how it could be.

 

[froggirl9000]

Not really. I want to be loved more than anything, and I don't even think that would really save me.

 

[extremelyugly]

I've been considered hideous by women for so long now that the only way to "revert" the damage is exactly this one, or in other words, to become an extremely attractive guy. It's not going to happen, and I became a zombie for it.
So many unwarranted aggression against my face, subtle, and very not subtle and vocal, as if I didn't exist. I'm very (sadly) resentful because of it, so I would do exactly what they have done to me if I were to magically be attractive, and it's the embarrassing and honest truth, I can't hide from that; I'd be the exact monster they have but just from the other side. I hate this aswell. It's not happening though. I'll be seen as ugly and be as such until I CTB.

So the answer is yes, but for compensating and for resentment, not pretty I know

 

[losergirl]

i dont think it would have a affect my mood that much. i often have little to no desire of anything sexual whether its sex or kissing. sometimes i feel broken for having no interest in any of that stuff

 

[chaoschuckler]

If it is with a total stranger, it would simply fulfill my wish to have sex before I die, nothing more. But connecting with a romantic partner feels like a completely different matter.

 

[darksouls]

no, I am asex, but I like to cuddle with animals, I miss my pets

 

[FoxSauce]

I dont think it'll do anything

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Fuck no. Even when I was in a position to, it didn't help that much. It's just sex; sex is not a cure for loneliness.

 

[Dejected 55]

Random thought I had earlier tonight while watching something on TV.

Some folks want to teach abstinence-only to teenagers. Usually this is met with resounding "it's not realistic to expect kids not to have sex."

Except... then those same people will tell you if you're lonely and unable to be in a relationship that you should be happy by yourself and not need any of that.

Essentially, the response to depressed lonely people is to encourage abstinence to them... the same abstinence that they would have also said was unrealistic.

People switch their narrative whenever ti suits them.

 

[dreamofnofuture]

No, I don't have this feeling. I find it incredibly vain as well. Sex with anyone of any kind has never made a lonely person less lonely.

What would make me happy is a semi-competently functioning society. What would make me happy is having a prairie dog. What makes me happy is reality shifting/astral projection, as anytime I do it I feel better. What makes me happy is being on SaSu.

I say this as a moderately aro-ace girl who is open to that stuff but not looking for it. Also, (I'm certain that) most people are bad at sex and very bland, as they struggle to listen to people and are close-minded??? So no, thanks.​

Random thought I had earlier tonight while watching something on TV.

Some folks want to teach abstinence-only to teenagers. Usually this is met with resounding "it's not realistic to expect kids not to have sex."

Except... then those same people will tell you if you're lonely and unable to be in a relationship that you should be happy by yourself and not need any of that.

Essentially, the response to depressed lonely people is to encourage abstinence to them... the same abstinence that they would have also said was unrealistic.

People switch their narrative whenever ti suits them.

I think non-religious abstinence is best for teenagers, as many teenagers are still learning consent and irresponsible when it comes to making sure that their partner is okay with what's happening. But if it happens, it happens. Most abstinence talk is religion-coded and puts virginity on a pedestal. Virginity doesn't matter; safety does. Not making life-altering decisions does. Not getting traumatized because your boyfriend/girlfriend is toxic/abusive does. Sex is very vulnerable, whether one likes to believe it can be had with strangers or not.

I think this perspective is more nuanced than just wanting to change their narrative when it suits them. Lonely people who hate themselves really shouldn't be in relationships because oftentimes, their actions (addiction, avoidant attachment styles, poor communication skills, inability to be honest with themselves, oversensitivity) end up hurting who they are with, or they just choose people like this.

But nobody can stop them from this, and it is unrealistic to think that they won't try because a lot of people seek sex or relationships. They think being celibate is loserdom, they don't want to feel like losers because they hate themselves, their selectivity goes down so that it's easier and quicker to find a partner. They don't have sex or enter relationships because they are curious about them; they do so because they can't stand the silence of solitude. I wish this was the main focus of promoting abstinence for anybody, but especially teenagers: how this obsessive pursuit of romance/sex can be self-destructive.​

 

[FoolsExpedition]

Nope. would it be cool to be able to with my handful of celebrity crushes and the loml? yeah sure. but i value deep and long lasting connections over fleeting moments of gratification. i'm also in a grey area between allo and ace or maybe demi if that means anything.