Do you ever feel normal?

[Blue_mist]

I consistently wounder hearing people say sometime they feel normal before having a relapse. I don't remember living these moments all my life. I've been suffering from social anxiety that stalks me every time everywhere in addition to treatment resistant depression, GAD, and low self-esteem. Going out feeling like being dragged to a guillotine, it feels quite dreadful and the only place i feel safe is the darkness of my bedroom. I'm so desperate for friends but with all these obstacles it seems impossible to have a friends and normal life or at least normal moments as a break from this hell.

 

[takemenowpls]

Right there with you blue… I spend my day in a dark corner of a room or in bed. Rooms are always dark and it makes me feel safe. Going out is the exact opposite, just brings out anxiety and sadness. You aren't alone. Feel free to PM if you need to talk.

 

[theboy]

I understand you. I don't know if I have social anxiety but I don't have friends or a romantic partner. This makes me feel very lonely.

I wish you peace

 

[LeavingEarly]

I consistently wounder hearing people say sometime they feel normal before having a relapse. I don't remember living these moments all my life. I've been suffering from social anxiety that stalks me every time everywhere in addition to treatment resistant depression, GAD, and low self-esteem. Going out feeling like being dragged to a guillotine, it feels quite dreadful and the only place i feel safe is the darkness of my bedroom. I'm so desperate for friends but with all these obstacles it seems impossible to have a friends and normal life or at least normal moments as a break from this hell.

I feel like I am in a haze all the time lacking energy to do everyday tasks.

 

[Blue_mist]

Right there with you blue… I spend my day in a dark corner of a room or in bed. Rooms are always dark and it makes me feel safe. Going out is the exact opposite, just brings out anxiety and sadness. You aren't alone. Feel free to PM if you need to talk.

Right there with you blue… I spend my day in a dark corner of a room or in bed. Rooms are always dark and it makes me feel safe. Going out is the exact opposite, just brings out anxiety and sadness. You aren't alone. Feel free to PM if you need to talk.

What makes it worse, is how people look at someone who has these disorders. Many people have accused me of being arrogant because i don't want to socialize with them

 

[Ginnn]

I can't even talk with someone without feeling like a worthless weirdo, I completely understand you

 

[Blue_mist]

I feel like I am in a haze all the time lacking energy to do everyday tasks.

When you lose motivation, you lose your whole life and this is my situation now

 

[jodes2]

I consistently wounder hearing people say sometime they feel normal before having a relapse. I don't remember living these moments all my life. I've been suffering from social anxiety that stalks me every time everywhere in addition to treatment resistant depression, GAD, and low self-esteem. Going out feeling like being dragged to a guillotine, it feels quite dreadful and the only place i feel safe is the darkness of my bedroom. I'm so desperate for friends but with all these obstacles it seems impossible to have a friends and normal life or at least normal moments as a break from this hell.

I feel normal sometimes. It just isn't empowering enough for me to ever properly take my life back, but at least I get glimmers of peace from time to time.

 

[Blue_mist]

I can't even talk with someone without feeling like a worthless weirdo, I completely understand youmy feeling exactly

I feel normal sometimes. It just isn't empowering enough for me to ever properly take my life back, but at least I get glimmers of peace from time to time.

That's what I miss

I can't even talk with someone without feeling like a worthless weirdo, I completely understand you

Exactly how I feel, i wish you all the best

 

[Hystearical]

Never have, never will.

 

[Blue_mist]

Never have, never will.

I'm afraid this is my situation as well

 

[Hurt]

Not anymore. Things will never be the same unfortunately.

 

[Hystearical]

I'm afraid this is my situation as well

I'n sorry to hear that. It depends on how much we deviate from normal. Maybe it's okay if you're somewhat abnormal. But the chasm between me and normal is unbridgeably wide and only growing wider.

 

[DreamSurfer]

Having multiple mental health issues/disorders scrambled up is crazy. Having said that aside my from my health issues, there are blips in time where it seems I get small fragments in time where everything lines up and I feel good. But these are times that are less than a few hours and are followed by reality checks that send me back into a spiral. They are lies brought on by my mental health usually, but they still give me a feeling other than the constant tugging from hell.

Although prescribed and non prescribed drugs in the past have triggered mania, and that feels good. It is shortl lived. But anyone that is familiar with mania knows that it is a devil in disguise that can lead to bad things.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me, normal is wanting to die and disliking existence. I guess that what is 'normal' depends on the individual. We all experience life differently after all. But I have never wanted to be alive, I never feel at peace or relaxed, I will only ever be at peace once I am finally free from this world. In this life there is no real relief from suffering.

 

[Hope:-)]

Never. Well, never as in not these days.

 

[flightless bird]

No. I was never normal, I had clarity on this even when I was 10. I was never part of society. Never felt like I belonged in this realm. Not ever.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

When I'm dreaming of normal… While I'm sleeping…

 

[outrider567]

No, not since January--just a low functioning automaton

 

[HumansAreHell]

This hits really close to home and I'm truly sorry to hear that you also feel this way. I really don't know if I ever knew what feeling normal was like. But I guess right from the moment I was born life never really gave me a reason to feel normal. It's a truly frustrating world..

I truly hate having to go to work everyday and it's not even about the work, I've always been a hard worker. It's the people, I really don't want to deal with ignorant judgmental people every single day but I am forced to. I can't socialize well and most of the people I work with are rude anyways so I just don't want to talk to them. I have coworkers who purposely mess with my stuff and break my equipment but if I tell on them I'm the one in the wrong.

The older I get the more things seem to fall apart. My insomnia is getting worse due to my constant stress to the point where I can't sleep more than 3 hours even on sleeping meds. Which of course lack of sleep in turn makes it much harder for me to function. It's just a vicious cycle that never ends and it's slowly killing me, I feel it in my chest every day. I don't really want to die but this is a world I just don't belong in and thinking about suicide is the only thing that brings me peace.

I'm sorry for the long rant, I just hope you know you're not alone. I think a lot of people on here can relate. I really wish the best for you, whatever that may be.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

I consistently wounder hearing people say sometime they feel normal before having a relapse. I don't remember living these moments all my life. I've been suffering from social anxiety that stalks me every time everywhere in addition to treatment resistant depression, GAD, and low self-esteem. Going out feeling like being dragged to a guillotine, it feels quite dreadful and the only place i feel safe is the darkness of my bedroom. I'm so desperate for friends but with all these obstacles it seems impossible to have a friends and normal life or at least normal moments as a break from this hell.

Not anymore

 

[SexyIncél]

Normal people are so dull. I hear their conversations and fear I'm trapped in a mindless world. Then I wonder if I'm an elitist, or enjoy fellow discontents

 

[Blue_mist]

Normal people are so dull. I hear their conversations and fear I'm trapped in a mindless world. Then I wonder if I'm an elitist, or enjoy fellow discontents

Couldn't agree more

 

[Anonymus]

If we take as normal the most common behavior of healthy individuals in the society in which I live, then no, I have never had this behavior.
But I also don't mind not being a common person in my city. I love my weird behavior, I was born that way.
What I don't like is not knowing how to adapt to my social environment and suffering because of it... I guess that's why, at the age of 5-6 I started to leave people aside (I had classmates in school and work as I got older, but never friends outside of an environment where I felt safe or knew regularly).

What I don't take well are all the somatizations of anxiety that have become chronic and that have degenerated into excess until they affect me too much in my day to day. I think I'm an idiot for not having been able to foresee what was going to happen.

//

Si entem per normal el comportament més habitual dels individus sans de la societat on visc, doncs no, mai he tingut aquest comportament.
Però tampoc em fa res no ser una persona comuna en la meva ciutat. M'estimo el meu comportament estrany, vaig nèixer així.
El que no m'agrada es no saber-me adaptar al meu entorn social i patir per això... suposo que per això, als 5-6 anys vaig començar a deixar de banda la gent (he tingut companys de classe a l'escola i de feina al fer-me gran, però mai amics fora d'un entorn on jo em sentis segur o conegués habitualment).

El que no porto bé són totes les somatitzacions de l'ansietat que se m'han cronificat i que s'han degenerat en excés fins afectar-me en escreix en el meu día a día. Penso que sóc un babau per no haver sabut veure amb prou antel·lació el que anava a passar.