Discussion do you care if people know your death was a suicide or would you prefer it appear to be an accident/natural causes

[sunnybird]

i have been thinking about what my preference would be. i have a unique situation where i have a history of strange health issues with unknown causes and i think that if i plan properly, my death might seem like another health issue

while it wouldn't make much difference to me, it might help my parents to not know i was dealing with such serious issues. there would be no blame or judgement, just sadness that i passed away in my sleep.

my basic plan is to drink N at night in my room at my regular sleep time and quickly hide the bottle in my trash before it starts to take affect. then i can simply fall asleep in my bed and my parents won't know anything until 12-16 hours later (on the weekends i sleep a lot lol). if i fall asleep face down on my pillow, they might assume i had a heart attack or seizure and died in my sleep.

this is all only useful if they don't try to investigate and i don't know if N would show up on a post-mortum tox screen (or if they would use tox screen in this situation) and i don't know what to do about my bank account bc my parents know about it and might ask for access to the account after my death and see the withdrawls, but it's a nice thought.

hbu?

 

[ThriveOrDie]

I have mixed feelings about it. If they know I ctb I would hope that they could learn something like how to be nice people. I have been very vocal with my family recently about how much they hurt me. But I for sure do not want my nieces and nephews to know I ctb.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

I do not care, other people's feelings are just that, feelings. I hardly have any anyway.

 

[Lost Magic]

I don't really care but I am not ashamed either. I am nearly 40 (can't believe I made it this long tbh). I've done my time and I don't want to keep struggling and becoming even more weak and pathetic with mother time pounding on my shoulders. I've lost more than I will ever gain and I'm okay with that. It's just the hard facts of living in a body in a fucked up society. There aint no turning back now.

 

[Wrennie]

I'm tired of people deliberately turning a blind eye to the realities of suicide. So to answer your question - yes, I'd want people to know it was a suicide. A rational suicide (as baffling of a concept as that may be for the general populace to comprehend).

 

[Ironweed]

I'm borderline to not caring, but I guess for now I'll say accidental or medical, why cause the few people who give a shit about me any more pain than they might experience otherwise? Quite frankly I see no way to pull this off, but I probably would if I somehow could.

 

[Crazy4u]

I would be dead so I don't care. I just hope noone makes rumors about my suicide.

 

[orange]

Bro I just wanna die

 

[raghu1977]

I don't have any family or friends…. So - I don't care one way or another.

Although - I do not want to leave a mess for whoever finds me and has to dispose of my body. I'll probably leave a decent tip and a note if I ctb in a hotel. Hopefully that should be some consolation for the cleaning staff.

 

[lost_soul83]

In some ways I don't really care if people think it was a suicide or not however, with the idiot cops out there and my great luck, they'd try to pin my death on my SO. So just to be safe, I'll make sure everyone knows it was a suicide. Not to mention the bonus of letting shitty people in my life know that they contributed to my death.

 

[Bedrock48]

I want it to look like a suicide and I want people to know it as such. Luckily I doubt this'll be too difficult given most people I have connections with know about my mental health issues and sui attempts.

It's really just personal preference, I don't like the idea of people (or potentially local newspapers, if it makes it to them) saying stuff like 'oh they were drunk, must've been an accident'. No, this is what I had to do to escape my intolerable mental and physical health struggles and I want people to know it was my choice and my choice alone.

I'd also hope that that certainty might bring others peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I do not care. I will not be alive at that point so the way others react after my death means nothing to me. When you are dead you are incapable of caring about anything.

 

[yive]

i want people to know it was a suicide

 

[Sanva]

i want my family to think it was an accident & everyone else to know it was a suicide.

 

[TerminalConscience]

If I could control it I'd let them believe it was accidental. I feel knowing the truth would just hinder the grief process.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

If I would have a choice or some power over it, then I would never want anyone to even found my body, especially my family. As long as I am living, I don't like the idea of people coming to my funeral, even though I know it won't matter after I am gone. I have been alone my entire life and a very private person and I would want to end my existence in the same manner as well.

 

[demuic]

I don't care. There are no people who would find out I was gone outside of my immediate family. It is already like I don't exist.

 

[rudebeat]

I'd want my friends and close family to know it was a suicide. I'd be okay with everyone knowing I died by suicide if it weren't for the fact that they're likely going to fill in the blanks as for the reasons I might've done it. Most likely they'll wonder if I did it because I had no friends or something, and while I don't have as much friends as the average person that isn't a big part of the reason why I'll ctb. It's just an insecurity of mine.

 

[Foresight]

I would assume they'll search the trash. If you're young there might be a small investigation, maybe? I don't know much about the procedure after a body is found.

 

[Live Free or Die]

I'd rather wish that my body was never found. That I was a "missing person". That way it doesn't burden my family with having to pay for a viewing or funeral. Even though my life insurance for work is enough to cover it. I just don't want to be a burden on anyone, even after death.

If I would have a choice or some power over it, then I would never want anyone to even found my body, especially my family. As long as I am living, I don't like the idea of people coming to my funeral, even though I know it won't matter after I am gone. I have been alone my entire life and a very private person and I would want to end my existence in the same manner as well.

I think about this a bit myself. Maybe making a raft and going out to sea and never coming back. Maybe driving my car across the country, selling it somewhere, hitchhike, camp, be homeless and live until I run out of money.

 

[LastFlowers]

I want them to know it was a suicide, absolutely 100%, otherwise I would rather not even have them be informed of my death (they'd hardly notice anyhow).
It's a decision I am making for a reason and it is as much of a final statement as it is a cessation to insurmountable amounts of suffering and unfair disadvantages/detriments.
The only way my death (and thus my "life") will have any meaning at all is if people start to take into consideration why someone made the decision (doesn't really feel like a choice since I wasn't given any other option than to be tortured or die) to kill themselves and perhaps they should take it more seriously and curb their own contributions to why this society makes life a living hell for so many people, or worsens their more inherent nightmares.

I don't want to go out having people think that I died by a fluke accident or had someone murder me, even though the reality of those things occurring could possibly make the process of dying more simple, easier even, I don't want my final act to be taken away from me, I have control of so little, as hard as it will be..I must do this by my own hand and I must not waver in my open honesty regarding my situation and what it led to.
People need to stop covering their eyes and ears and making up excuses and other narratives for why someone they knew commited suicide, it is not helping the conversation nor the suicidal people still left behind.
(The notion that "everyone who commits suicide is mentally ill" is also something which needs to be eradicated.)
I want people to know that I died never having experienced happiness, I want them to stew in that fact and ruminate on why that is, and why I'm far from the only one who was cornered into doing the same.
But the thing is, they probably won't care either way, even if you shouted it from beyond the grave, the living will do and say whatever they can to assuage their own guilt and pat each other's backs/rub one another's shoulders, when really they should be taking a long, hard look in the mirror.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

It would be nice if my death were ruled an accident, so as to spare my family any guilt. Ultimately though it isn't important to me.

 

[Kobusu]

Literally don't care as long as I'm dead lmao

 

[allesistgut]

i guess i just want people to be truthful about my death, but i don't know.

from their actions in the past and their overwhelming need to appear to others as the "perfect" parents, i feel like there is a possibility that my parents could tell people that i passed in some kind of accident instead of the reality.

i know i will be gone, but this thought does bother me. especially as i don't have a good relationship with my parents and depending on when i eventually ctb there is a chance they'll control a lot, if not all of the information surrounding my death.

 

[yo_no_soy_el_pollo2]

I don't want my last act to be a lie. I want everyone to know. I am thinking about donating my brain to science; somewhere that studies depression. It would be great if I could contribute to something that might help people like me in the future.

 

[UselessBeing]

I'm tired of people deliberately turning a blind eye to the realities of suicide. So to answer your question - yes, I'd want people to know it was a suicide. A rational suicide (as baffling of a concept as that may be for the general populace to comprehend).

I fucking feel this to my CORE. I tried to explain to my husband a long time ago that me dying would logically solve a lot of things. We wouldn't be up the ass in medical debt, would be saving money on therapy that I barely get anyway because the mental health help system is a joke, everything I suffer from the breaks his heart would just be OVER.

He has even told me in several occasions that he is tired of having to keep learning all these new things to help with my mental health and that he is just sick of my anxitey. If I die he'd be free and could be fincially stable and maybe meet someone worthy.

Idk man. Rational suicide is a real thing and no one wants to see the logic of it.

 

[angiegirl30]

i have been thinking about what my preference would be. i have a unique situation where i have a history of strange health issues with unknown causes and i think that if i plan properly, my death might seem like another health issue

while it wouldn't make much difference to me, it might help my parents to not know i was dealing with such serious issues. there would be no blame or judgement, just sadness that i passed away in my sleep.

my basic plan is to drink N at night in my room at my regular sleep time and quickly hide the bottle in my trash before it starts to take affect. then i can simply fall asleep in my bed and my parents won't know anything until 12-16 hours later (on the weekends i sleep a lot lol). if i fall asleep face down on my pillow, they might assume i had a heart attack or seizure and died in my sleep.

this is all only useful if they don't try to investigate and i don't know if N would show up on a post-mortum tox screen (or if they would use tox screen in this situation) and i don't know what to do about my bank account bc my parents know about it and might ask for access to the account after my death and see the withdrawls, but it's a nice thought.

hbu?

I'm not sure where you live at but if you are in the US, they will automatically do a postmortem on you if you pass at home. Unless you are in hospice. And N will show up on a tox screen as a barbiturate. No words of advice for you.

 

[Zzzzz]

It doesn't matter to me. I just want to die already and be free of this life.

 

[completely-done]

I think anyone who knows me knows my physical health to be near perfect and my mental health to be utter crap. It'll be obvious it's a suicide so why hide it? I've got nothing to lose once I'm dead lol

 

[gr1lledcheese]

i have been thinking about what my preference would be. i have a unique situation where i have a history of strange health issues with unknown causes and i think that if i plan properly, my death might seem like another health issue

while it wouldn't make much difference to me, it might help my parents to not know i was dealing with such serious issues. there would be no blame or judgement, just sadness that i passed away in my sleep.

my basic plan is to drink N at night in my room at my regular sleep time and quickly hide the bottle in my trash before it starts to take affect. then i can simply fall asleep in my bed and my parents won't know anything until 12-16 hours later (on the weekends i sleep a lot lol). if i fall asleep face down on my pillow, they might assume i had a heart attack or seizure and died in my sleep.

this is all only useful if they don't try to investigate and i don't know if N would show up on a post-mortum tox screen (or if they would use tox screen in this situation) and i don't know what to do about my bank account bc my parents know about it and might ask for access to the account after my death and see the withdrawls, but it's a nice thought.

hbu?

I have no problem with people knowing it's a suicide. I've even been doing some journaling, and writing notes to my friends and family explaining my reasons why.
Of course I'll have no control over what my family decides to tell people. I don't doubt they'll feel inclined to hide the truth, or at least not talk about it.