Venting do i only exist for the pleasure of men? tw maybe?

[ChaiTea]

tw i think??? not sure

am i still beautiful if im dead? if i killed myself, would you still think im pretty? would you still want to fuck me? would you never see me past my body?

my god i'm tired of people. did i imagine it all? please don't touch me. sometimes i wish i could be loved for more than my body. i'm not even sure HOW to be loved for any more. is there even any part of me that's whole? that's lovable? that's even remotely human?

i'm nothing more than a parasitic maggot and yet you claim to like me. love me even.

do you really believe in love at first sight? or maybe i'm just easy. maybe there's no part of me capable of being loved.

for the love of god, can you tell me anything other than i'm pretty? than "i could pull"? than im hot?

can you fucking acknowledge my existence? my insatiable, sinful, and so eternally dissatisfied existence?

 

[M1sT]

Really one of the worst feeling when you realise people see you as a material to use and throw rather than a person! I am sorry that you had to go through some unwanted experiences but the past stays in mind to sting. I hope you find comfort!

 

[Sutter]

Hoping you one day experience, a loving smile, interest in your day, someone who wants your opinion, a pillow you need but didnt ask for, a genuine laugh to a good joke, and well made bowl of chicken soup on a cold day.

Im a man, some men are stupid, some are loving and can be loved, hoping you find at least one.

Disclaimer I honestly mean the above but to be clear I am an old broken down fox and not that man.

 

[ChaiTea]

back here again since i don't wanna make a new post.

sometimes i wonder if i exist outside of what can make men happy. can they tell me anything something about me as a person? something that confirms that i exist? something other than my face or my tits? can i exist for any other reason?

 

[Goosechan]

It's unfair to be reduced to *just* some of your parts, even if those parts turned out to be objectively pretty. You're a whole person underneath there. Sadly there are people who view the world in a way where others are just some of their traits. It's unjust.
But there are plenty of people out there that would care for your wit or your effort or your ideas. But none of those are obvious at first glance and it can be scary, especially if you've been treated like nothing more than meat, to deepen a connection and make those parts of yourself seen.

I also don't think wholeness is a prerequisite for love.

 

[K-β]

tw i think??? not sure

am i still beautiful if im dead? if i killed myself, would you still think im pretty? would you still want to fuck me? would you never see me past my body?

my god i'm tired of people. did i imagine it all? please don't touch me. sometimes i wish i could be loved for more than my body. i'm not even sure HOW to be loved for any more. is there even any part of me that's whole? that's lovable? that's even remotely human?

i'm nothing more than a parasitic maggot and yet you claim to like me. love me even.

do you really believe in love at first sight? or maybe i'm just easy. maybe there's no part of me capable of being loved.

for the love of god, can you tell me anything other than i'm pretty? than "i could pull"? than im hot?

can you fucking acknowledge my existence? my insatiable, sinful, and so eternally dissatisfied existence?

i know how you feel. it's awful. all i can offer is my sympathy & to say i'm sorry you're going through that.

 

[ChaiTea]

TW SORRY!!

sometimes i just wish id be raped and left for dead. i can't do this shit no more

i just want them to use me and leave me the fuck alone

 

[tiredash]

im not saying its easy, but if you want to be loved not for your looks you could try to find someone over the internet where ppl doesnt know about your exterior

In my case I cannot have a relationship if I can't trust that person...

 

[Michi_Violeta]

TW SORRY!!

sometimes i just wish id be raped and left for dead. i can't do this shit no more

i just want them to use me and leave me the fuck alone

We are not objects. Toys. Things to be used and replaced. Our experiences may say otherwise, but I sincerely wish you don't give in to that belief because it's one that seemed you were against too: you wanted to be acknowledged for more than your looks and you had every right to because you're a human and we're all deserving of that dignity.

I'll die on this hill: believing we're all ends in ourselves and not just means to an end. I don't know your pain, I can't imagine it, but maybe your life (or your death even) would feel a little lighter if you don't wish upon yourself that same absurd damage that others already did to you. I guess what I'm trying to say is: you can be left alone if you want to, just don't let them use you if it feels like it's against your values.

 

[resetmonoxide]

Are you living in a society that has more negative attitudes towards women than others? Maybe you wouldn't feel like this if you were in a different country. Have you considered moving abroad to a safer country?

 

[ChaiTea]

Are you living in a society that has more negative attitudes towards women than others? Maybe you wouldn't feel like this if you were in a different country. Have you considered moving abroad to a safer country?

actually i just recently moved to a very privileged area in the US lol. but thank you, i appreciate the help