Venting Disturbing Thoughts

[TheOtakuLurker]

So basically these thoughts are endless and obsessive i keep having vivid thoughts of me doing something awful to someone or something but weirdly i don't know where the obsession came from all i remember is turning 13 and intently my life changed slightly i don't look at my peers like I'm suppose to and instead of look at those younger, i'm not currently seeking help nor have the instead in doing so and currently it's become so much i had to physically lock myself in my room which leans me into wanting to kill myself more, i did try to Overdose on Dxm that didn't work and only caused slight hallucination for hours, is there a way to satisfy my urges before i do something and kill myself?

 

[settling]

hey there, i have this exact same problem. they are intrusive thoughts and they are quite real and im going to say that if you are having this reaction to them they probably dont reflect to you much as a person. most rapists, pedophiles and murderers dont lock themselves in their rooms to protect others from themselves and have some sort of overt antisocial behavior to them.
i cant tell you what to do as it is against the rules but there are other people out there who have had this problem and had it under control and better, including me.
good luck out there