Venting Disgusted with myself but what can I do.

[Noriv159]

I haven't had the strength to do proper hygiene in awhile. I say in awhile because I'm embarrassed by such time that has passed. I'm worried but I'm too sick to do anything. I'm furious that I have to live longer just to actualize my hopes of finally ending things, when things are getting worse everyday and becoming out of my control. I can't afford to wait with such senseless living, disease, and self hate. This has no purpose.

 

[ZardozOmega]

Same here on my end. Well, I took a shower Yesterday, but that was after an entire month without a shower. I usually shower before seeing my therapist and my shrink, so that's about 3 showers a month, but they're taking some time off so I get to be a nasty, stinky, disgusting subhuman

 

[demuic]

I relate. I don't know when I last took a shower, it's been more than a week I think. Same with brushing my teeth.

Taking a shower always seems like so much effort I can definitely cannot manage to do it everyday.

I don't really go anywhere or do anything strenuous so I get by with only changing my clothes and putting deodorant on when I can't shower.

 

[_Kaira_]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how you feel. I haven't slept much in days even with the aid of my medications, I have given up eating, I'm becoming a lot more apathetic for just about everything. The feeling of being drained of any amount of energy or concern is just too much.

 

[FuneralCry]

You shouldn't feel bad. It is one of the tedious parts of this painful existence. Humans do the same meaningless tasks on a loop until we die.

 

[quwroflucilfer3]

I haven't had the strength to do proper hygiene in awhile. I say in awhile because I'm embarrassed by such time that has passed. I'm worried but I'm too sick to do anything. I'm furious that I have to live longer just to actualize my hopes of finally ending things, when things are getting worse everyday and becoming out of my control. I can't afford to wait with such senseless living, disease, and self hate. This has no purpose.

I am slowly becoming more and more disgusted with my appearance by the day and it will only get worse as I grow older. Hang in there.