Venting Disconnect from everything

[Versailles]

I can't understand or include myself in the walking circle of society, unfortunately I can't consider myself a useful citizen for society because I don't even have an interest in being one. What do you do when you lose interest in everything? I don't know, I can only cry because I feel that I have nothing else or because I am facing the absolute and overwhelming emptiness.

And this is my current situation, as I write this, I am crying, because the emptiness I feel is quite suffocating and indescribable, nothing produces anything for me and I do not want anything now, I often forget the hope I have, and at other times I forget All in all, I wish I could sleep for hours, but life is so cruel that doing so will come at a cost.

The cost of wasting the minutes of our lives is also cruel, which makes me feel confused, indecisive and dissatisfied, I hate feeling that I am wasting my time, but at the same time that could be a sign that I am interested in something, what should I do? now?, I feel so confused and disoriented.

 

[artificial_ineptness]

It is a miserable state to be in. The feeling of emptiness, of lacking something or even just plain old bored without any way of getting rid of it. When nothing feels good, interesting or valuable and you just drift in absolute nothingness.

Personally I just go with a mix of (a) doing things I have an obligation to do or others want me to do, (b) distract myself with whatever most easily distracts me or (c) wallow in the misery of not knowing what I should do.

When the emptiness feels unbearable, might as well do something, even if you dont particularly care. It is an unsatisfying answer but it can be the lesser of evils.

 

[solisoccasus]

For me it goes to working. Just work. Keep myself busy and when i'm not working, emptiness strikes in. It's that every day and i'm getting really exhausted. It's tiring but i have to deal with it until i find a method that easily kicks in and then i'd be gone.

 

[whatevs]

Damn, I feel similarly lately. When I am feeling honest with myself I have to face the stark reality: I don't want to die but neither I want to work and contribute to a society I absolutely despise and would overturn forcefully if I had the means.

The only glimmer of hope I have is that since I can get lost in my pursuit of a solution or perfection when programming I can partake in this fucking clown show and get paid for it while just doing what keeps me distracted, trying not to think that I am another cog in the machine.

Not to mention that beyond anything political I also feel detached and disgusted with life itself most of the time.

 

[solisoccasus]

Whatever feels you comfortable or distracted as long as it keeps you sane, i guess its okay.

 

[thereisthemist]

I actually tried self harm stuff because of similar minds.
I ended up not doing things to myself because logically it's still "doing things".
The void comes from the lack of meaning. Many people will just tell you to do whatever they read in the word "meaning".

But in the case of still disoriented, keep the emotions, and mean less (pay less attention) on that time "wasted". I do that everytime I really just want to quit, seems a bit helpful so far I think.

You may even find the reason why you keep telling yourself not to end the world, but only if you do not intent to seek the answers about it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I live a very empty existence, in a way it is like I have already died. I have no interest in living at all. I see life as being completely meaningless, it is just a pointless experience that we go through for the sake of it. I just try to pass the time and I tell myself that no matter what the suffering will end someday. Life can be so awful and depressing, all I want is to peacefully pass away. I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish you the best.