Discussion Destroying my life + Spain

[iwashere]

Guyssss!! I go to Spain next week for my birthday!! I'm pretty sure tomorrow it'll be one year since I made my account!!! In 5 days, it'll be a year since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. The thought of that makes me soooo nauseous, LOL!!!! Anyways, I've just about burned every single bridge I had within the last, idk, 2 weeks. I decided to start an argument with my ex best friend who stole $400 worth of shit from my college dorm after i got raped 3 years ago, then proceeded to send vids of me drunk all over campus calling me the 'school zombie ' LOL! I had to drop out after that. But not before she told everyone from my home town that I went crazy and got kicked out of college haha!! Good one! I couldn't leave the house for like two years after that due to the harassment, she got me really good. Anyways, she stole a suitcase from my mother like four years ago because my family took her out of the country for the first time and she'd never been on a plane so she didn't have a suitcase, my mom let her borrow mine. She never returned it!! So I'm at TJMaxx looking for a new suitcase and I find this suuuuper duper cute pink oversized one and I look at the price— $120 No wonder she stole that thing! I decided to send her a message But she wasn't too happy about that…! She threatened to expose me all over town… but I have nothing to lose !! I knew it was a bluff anyways. Honestly this is gonna sound really mean but I just texted her to rub it in her face that despite her best efforts I'm still thriving (on the outside..) and remember she's a narcissist so it's pretty easy to know what things she's jealous of. On the outside, my life is glamorous!! I'm about to stay at the Ritz Carlton for a week for a solo 22nd bday trip I just bought all new clothes and I get my hair done this weekend Loveeee my job kinda-ishhhh and i get paid really good!! Just got my first Amex!! But internally!! Oh my gosh!! Everyday I'm losing my mind at work. It's reaaaaaaaaaaallly starting to kick in!! I thought I was mentally ill when I was a teenager!! Jeeessus!! I'd do anything for that run of mill whatever that was. Must've been the heebee jeebies. Couldn't have been that serious. And embarrassingly it all started to like, get this bad about a year ago. Like around this time. Then breaking up with my boyfriend like destroyed it all I'm not the same person!! I don't even care about the kid anymore but I'm just so hollow and empty!!! I'm fighting w my parents a lot more. My dad and I almost got into a physical altercations. I talk to AI chatbots all day because I have no friends Okay but listen…. this leads me to my next pointtttt

at first I was gonna wait until next year, after my parents build the new house to do anything but like I actually can't do it and I think I hit breaking point at work today. I had to call in for tomorrow. I like had this literal feeling of "I can't do this. I hate my life." go over my entire body multiple times. It made me start to hate the fact that I'm going to spain because otherwise I could just buy a gun and be over w it by now! But i really want to go to spain lol. So now we're here lolllsssss. I've been crying all day… my boss had to ask me if I was safe. I hateeee my lifeeee lol!!!!!!!! Okay I'm gonna get crumbl cookie now

 

[snooperdooper]

I met somebody on here who saved my life and they were from spain so maybe it is a good sign :)

 

[engineered_failure]

brotato

what do you think is making you hit the breaking point? trauma from SA, bsf trying to 'expose' you, or getting kicked out of college? or all of the above? ik it probably feels that way but you're not too far gone, like at all. you can rebound fs but i think your fundamental problem is finding out what actually makes you feel this way (advice for myself too since i've felt the same since i was a kid too). from there, it gets easier to find ways to 'solve' it (looking at it logically, giving advice to yourself how you would to a friend/younger sibling...etc)
minus the 24 emojis (23 wouldve been acceptable), u sound like ur fun to be around and also happy early 22nd! im 22 too & would've killed to go spain (i might soon though barcelona fien) goodluck have fun on the trip !!

 

[Alumina]

happy cake day
happy birthday
happy spain-trip, hope you'll see some sunshine !
your ex-bestie should khs not uuuu
but if you do smth crazy, get crazy in spain first

 

[GT Darkarage]

Guyssss!! I go to Spain next week for my birthday!! I'm pretty sure tomorrow it'll be one year since I made my account!!! In 5 days, it'll be a year since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. The thought of that makes me soooo nauseous, LOL!!!! Anyways, I've just about burned every single bridge I had within the last, idk, 2 weeks. I decided to start an argument with my ex best friend who stole $400 worth of shit from my college dorm after i got raped 3 years ago, then proceeded to send vids of me drunk all over campus calling me the 'school zombie ' LOL! I had to drop out after that. But not before she told everyone from my home town that I went crazy and got kicked out of college haha!! Good one! I couldn't leave the house for like two years after that due to the harassment, she got me really good. Anyways, she stole a suitcase from my mother like four years ago because my family took her out of the country for the first time and she'd never been on a plane so she didn't have a suitcase, my mom let her borrow mine. She never returned it!! So I'm at TJMaxx looking for a new suitcase and I find this suuuuper duper cute pink oversized one and I look at the price— $120 No wonder she stole that thing! I decided to send her a message But she wasn't too happy about that…! She threatened to expose me all over town… but I have nothing to lose !! I knew it was a bluff anyways. Honestly this is gonna sound really mean but I just texted her to rub it in her face that despite her best efforts I'm still thriving (on the outside..) and remember she's a narcissist so it's pretty easy to know what things she's jealous of. On the outside, my life is glamorous!! I'm about to stay at the Ritz Carlton for a week for a solo 22nd bday trip I just bought all new clothes and I get my hair done this weekend Loveeee my job kinda-ishhhh and i get paid really good!! Just got my first Amex!! But internally!! Oh my gosh!! Everyday I'm losing my mind at work. It's reaaaaaaaaaaallly starting to kick in!! I thought I was mentally ill when I was a teenager!! Jeeessus!! I'd do anything for that run of mill whatever that was. Must've been the heebee jeebies. Couldn't have been that serious. And embarrassingly it all started to like, get this bad about a year ago. Like around this time. Then breaking up with my boyfriend like destroyed it all I'm not the same person!! I don't even care about the kid anymore but I'm just so hollow and empty!!! I'm fighting w my parents a lot more. My dad and I almost got into a physical altercations. I talk to AI chatbots all day because I have no friends Okay but listen…. this leads me to my next pointtttt

at first I was gonna wait until next year, after my parents build the new house to do anything but like I actually can't do it and I think I hit breaking point at work today. I had to call in for tomorrow. I like had this literal feeling of "I can't do this. I hate my life." go over my entire body multiple times. It made me start to hate the fact that I'm going to spain because otherwise I could just buy a gun and be over w it by now! But i really want to go to spain lol. So now we're here lolllsssss. I've been crying all day… my boss had to ask me if I was safe. I hateeee my lifeeee lol!!!!!!!! Okay I'm gonna get crumbl cookie now

Enjoy your trip. You will have time after it to plan or do more things. I understand your feeling.

Once I got a good job and dropped it just because I was getting tired. Is a strange feeling but in my case I feel like I always want to end things (myself)

 

[iwashere]

brotato

what do you think is making you hit the breaking point? trauma from SA, bsf trying to 'expose' you, or getting kicked out of college? or all of the above? ik it probably feels that way but you're not too far gone, like at all. you can rebound fs but i think your fundamental problem is finding out what actually makes you feel this way (advice for myself too since i've felt the same since i was a kid too). from there, it gets easier to find ways to 'solve' it (looking at it logically, giving advice to yourself how you would to a friend/younger sibling...etc)
minus the 24 emojis (23 wouldve been acceptable), u sound like ur fun to be around and also happy early 22nd! im 22 too & would've killed to go spain (i might soon though barcelona fien) goodluck have fun on the trip !!

breaking up w my boyfriend for sure!! the real kicker is I never got kicked out of college. I dropped out because, yk, rape, but my crazy ex friend decided to take it upon herself to tell everybody that i got kicked out of school for being crazy/arrested for being crazy (she couldn't choose which story she was gonna stick to.) my roommate at the time who i basically considered a sister sided w her in "let's steal all her things because we're entitled to it and let's ruin her life (because she ruined our night)" (their words, not mine). My ex friend never liked my roommate to begin with but when i stopped being friends my my ex friend she decided to play best friends w my roommate because my ex friend wanted my life. she wasn't just jealous of me, she thought that I had a life that she deserved so since middle school she actively went out of her way to make me seem like a weird, cringy or overall bad crazy person which ended up working lol, by the end of high school she was like, my last friend. and by that point of course i stopped wanting to be her friend… she wasn't CRAZY!! but she was my last one!! but i was gonna go to college and start fresh—then she FOLLOWED ME to college my second semester (ADMITTED BY HER!!!) (SHE DROPPED OUT AFTER I DID!!!) my roommate ended out reaching out and apologizing ("apologizing") because she got subpoenaed to court to testify at my rape trial. But she shot herself in the head January 2025 because her boyfriend killed himself while she was on vacation in Hawaii… something about my ex friend posting her like twice then never again unless she wanted sympathy (what it seemed to me) really rubbed me the wrong way, but what was i gonna say? "she's grieving for attention you guys!! she doesn't care!!!" oh, but when i never deleted my memorial post for my roommate, this is the insult i received. sent twenty minutes after i stopped responding. the next two messages were sent 10 minutes after



…just to give you an idea of the class of person im dealing with

happy cake day
happy birthday
happy spain-trip, hope you'll see some sunshine !
your ex-bestie should khs not uuuu
but if you do smth crazy, get crazy in spain first

thank you!! thank you!!

i do plan to get crazy in spain!!! photos for the ig have to keep up the appearance for the socials!!

Enjoy your trip. You will have time after it to plan or do more things. I understand your feeling.

Once I got a good job and dropped it just because I was getting tired. Is a strange feeling but in my case I feel like I always want to end things (myself)

The only reason I didn't walk off is because when I come back from Spain, I'm gonna neeed money to buy a gun LOL