Desire to die

[Alex]

I don't know if anyone else is Luke this, but my main reason for wanting to ctb is a philosophical/religious desire to die. Yeah, I have issues in life, and yeah they can make me more suicidal. But even when things are good and I'm happy, I still want to die. Not for any reason, rather than I just want to die. Like if you were craving chicken for dinner, except it's more like "you know what sounds great right now? Death." Does anyone else ever feel like this?

 

[bigj75]

I don't know if anyone else is Luke this, but my main reason for wanting to ctb is a philosophical/religious desire to die. Yeah, I have issues in life, and yeah they can make me more suicidal. But even when things are good and I'm happy, I still want to die. Not for any reason, rather than I just want to die. Like if you were craving chicken for dinner, except it's more like "you know what sounds great right now? Death." Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Lol I've never felt like that about it.

But reminds me of 300. The Spartans were so willing to die.

 

[MAIO]

I don't know if anyone else is Luke this, but my main reason for wanting to ctb is a philosophical/religious desire to die. Yeah, I have issues in life, and yeah they can make me more suicidal. But even when things are good and I'm happy, I still want to die. Not for any reason, rather than I just want to die. Like if you were craving chicken for dinner, except it's more like "you know what sounds great right now? Death." Does anyone else ever feel like this?

That is exactly how I have felt for a really long time. As a whole balance scale my life has never been worth it by my standards.

 

[15dec]

Kind of, wanting to die has just been a thought at the back of my mind for years. Even when things are going brilliantly the thought of not being here and things being better without me is there. Sometimes it gets more intense but it never truly leaves. I guess I've just always knew I was going to ctb

 

[Crest33]

I don't know if anyone else is Luke this, but my main reason for wanting to ctb is a philosophical/religious desire to die. Yeah, I have issues in life, and yeah they can make me more suicidal. But even when things are good and I'm happy, I still want to die. Not for any reason, rather than I just want to die. Like if you were craving chicken for dinner, except it's more like "you know what sounds great right now? Death." Does anyone else ever feel like this?

If your reasons for ctb are a religious desire. Please rethink it. You say you are are happy but still want to ctb. That's a very conflicting thought.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

I feel the same way, no particular reason I just want to die. Life has always felt so stupid and pointless. I have no interests or goals. Death is the only thing that motivates me. Just here killing time, waiting to die, looking for keys out of this prison in the meantime.

 

[therhydler]

I am completely the opposite... I know that life can be beautiful and I desperately want to live... yet I just can't, it has become pure torment. I don't want to kill myself yet I have no other choice

 

[wanttodie]

I feel the same way, no particular reason I just want to die. Life has always felt so stupid and pointless and i hat life and living so feel im better of ending my life

 

[Jiva]

Sorry. I am not your person. If i don't have any pains, i want to live. Pity, i have pains more and more often.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

If I was healthy I wouldn't want to die. Losing my health is my main reason for CTB. When I was going through happy times I wasn't thinking of suicide. However, my happy times always lasted a short while before things turned to shit again. It's as if the default mode in my life has always been crap and pushing me to be suicidal.

 

[blueming]

I definitely feel like this. Of course there are other reasons for me to want to ctb, but on top of that there's this inherent feeling that life is meaningless. Even in my happiest moments I can't help but think how pointless everything I'm doing is.

 

[Suiplastic]

Since of my age 5, I'm have wish of disappearing. I am very creative person and can do many things but I had no luck in life and I am not happy. Everything became meaningless except one thing. I have a strong fetishism towards plastic (i like be wrapped into it) and it only makes me alive. I know it's so kinky and unreal. When I put a plastic bag over my head and suffocate myself I feel I'm alive. Civilization suffocate me more than that bag and I do not see the possibility of continuing to live this way. I feel like I've been get lost from the other universe to this planet... I don't want to breathe more.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I don't know if anyone else is Luke this, but my main reason for wanting to ctb is a philosophical/religious desire to die. Yeah, I have issues in life, and yeah they can make me more suicidal. But even when things are good and I'm happy, I still want to die. Not for any reason, rather than I just want to die. Like if you were craving chicken for dinner, except it's more like "you know what sounds great right now? Death." Does anyone else ever feel like this?

I just want to die as an old man becausse I don't want to play Russian roulette with my dignity in a hospice or hospital.

 

[JadedGray]

I've thought of suicide since I was six (made my first attempt when I was seven and have been regularly suicidal since nine). Not just because I don't care for my life, but life in general. It just isn't for me.

 

[StillWaiting]

I don't really want to die to be honest. I never wish to exist. The only way that will get me out of this living hell is to die. There is no other way out of here.

 

[JadedGray]

I don't really want to die to be honest. I never wish to exist. The only way that will get me out of this living hell is to die. There is no other way out of here.

This is how I feel. I wish I had never existed at all. Death is just a means to an end.

 

[alizee]

Yah I actually have the urge to die. It's like maybe after this life it will be better. I'm also aware to how I think this way is because of other reasons but were all destine to happen. My only ideology is influenced by understanding determinism and makes me find it alright to die because everything is destined. Making me think that if I were to die by suicide, it happened for a reason and nothing was stopping it. So basically I lived through a hell and finished whatever the purpose was if there is a higher power.

 

[CoolGuy9]

I sometimes get this urge to die or feel pain. I don't know why, but sometimes I don't really want to get better. Dying by suicide just seems so fitting to me and I kind of want to experience what it's like to hang yourself. For some fucked up reason want to be remembered as someone who killed themselves. Of course this mindset is not something I follow all the time and at the moment I hope to get better.

 

[Psychotic King]

I have had interest/curiosity for death ever since I was a child

I can admit that I am afraid of the process itself, the body decaying, the pain, all that. But death is funny thing, it's sometimes calming me as a thought (a way out, no matter how bad things are, one can always leave this place if enough courage can be mustered)

I am not the most religious person, but I would like to say I am somewhat spiritual. I have had couple of very strong moments / feelings when I have been intoxicated, probably reason I rather like being non-sober, I try to chase those feelings/moments

I am bit scared about the thought of afterlife or about the human conciousness not leaving permamently when you die. I dont know what happens when we die, I dont know if conciousness will fade away or not, but it's a scary thought. I want death to be this final solution to things, and it to be the rest some think/hope it is. Well, maybe "rest" is a wrong word here, but rather a non-existence. That itself, as a thought, feels like a rest to me though