Desire to CTB only later in life?

[couragetodie]

Anyone here not really have a desire to CTB until after 30 years old? There are many members here that say they have wanted to CTB since a very young age — this breaks my heart, btw. I am curious if there are any who liked life for the most part but it wasn't until later in life CTB became a real possibility. I have had bouts with depression my whole life but never had a suicidal thought until I was 35 — this was, btw, the first time I took an anti-depressant.

 

[SadGirl]

I intend CTB when you are older too, when you are in midlife crisis.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Anyone here not really have a desire to CTB until after 30 years old? There are many members here that say they have wanted to CTB since a very young age — this breaks my heart, btw. I am curious if there are any who liked life for the most part but it wasn't until later in life CTB became a real possibility. I have had bouts with depression my whole life but never had a suicidal thought until I was 35 — this was, btw, the first time I took an anti-depressant.

Given how our cultures think about and treat older citizens, it wouldn't surprise me. I read an article a few years ago about this famous fashion and media guy who lived the glamorous high-society life traveling all over the world being adored by millions. He left a note that by his early 40's he wasn't getting the attention he was used to so he decided to commit suicide. And even among other suicidal people I hear the not-so-subtly ageist comments. It's "understandable" when an older suicidal person ctb. Why? Are they supposed to love their lives less than younger people? We've known for DECADES that older citizens have, statistically, one of the highest rates of suicide (with the age group 45-64 leading all age groups by a stretch). We do virtually nothing about it.

Older people suffer from ageism everywhere--in personal relationships, in employment opportunities (and lack of promotions and even preemptive firings), in medical staffs' wrong assumptions of the aging process and the resulting mismanagement of health conditions, in countless social exclusions and belittlement (like "old people technology ignorance")... Maybe it's karma that, being down on older people when we're young, we build a culture so inhospitable towards older people that by the time we ourselves become old... #logan'srun.

 

[couragetodie]

I see a lot of members of SS and elsewhere online saying they have had CTB thoughts since very young ages. So few say they started much later in life. Perhaps that's because middle aged people don't tend to spend as much time online as younger generations. Or maybe it's because we are generally more private. In any case, I wonder about those who lived good or even great lives and then decided in their mid-lives that life had become too unmanageable so they said it's time to go.