Defeated

[The Howling Void]

Hi everyone. I thought I'd share I'm here, and why I think it's time to die. Life has never been easy for me. I survived years of sexual abuse as a child. It's really fucked up the way my mind works. I survived years of addiction. And now I've lost my wife, my daughter, and I have immense financial difficulties that I have no choice but to confront or die. And I just can't do it. The challenges are too great. I feel defeated. So here I am: I see no choice for me but to die because I can't overcome these hurdles. It's a terrible feeling. But I can't do it. The sadness. The loss. The fear. The anxiety. The suffocation. It's all too much, and I just can't take it anymore. So I've chosen to die. And I'm glad this place is here so I can talk to others. Thanks everyone.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

It must be really tough having to deal with these issues with no one to talk to. Life can be an onslaught of misery and sadness. I wish I could say something to cheer you up but empty platitudes rarely helps. I wish I could say I know how you feel but the honest truth is I don't. I can only lend an ear and tell you that there is nothing to be ashamed of. It is okay to feel sad. Whatever is bothering you feel free to speak your mind. There is no judgement here.

 

[VKVK]

It seems like life has hit you hard, anon. I don't know what to say apart from I'm glad you found this place to help with your fight and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you succeed in winning it even if you've given up. None of us deserve the feelings that bring us here, but we're already at this spot so might as well try and look out a bit for each other. Good luck in your life, whatever you decide to do in the end. I've lost many close people and I know the unbearable feeling that it is... I don't wish it upon anyone.

 

[Crazy4u]

That is very hard to read. I am sorry for your suffering. You didn't deserve any of this.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is so cruel and unfair. I know it is hard to carry on when you are in so much pain. I'm sorry you are in this situation. It is a dreadful feeling when things keep on getting worse. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[The Howling Void]

Thanks everyone. Your acknowledgement of my shitty situation brings me a little comfort. I'm stuck in this situation where I'm terrified to die but also terrified to live. Both are paralyzing me. I don't want to die, but I don't know how I can live. That's where I am. I feel like it's hell. I think I have no choice but to die, but I don't want to do it. But so much anguish awaits me in life that I can't conceive of continuing on.