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Perpetually99

Member
Feb 2, 2021
24
I have a medical health condition that impacts every facet of my life. I am not the person I appear to be. I am normally passionate, vivacious, determined, hard-working, proactive, excited. With this condition I am just devoid of all of this. It has robbed my life-force. I am not what I appear to be. I HATE this person I turned into. If I cannot be myself I do not want to exist in this form. I need to disappear.

I have listened to a clinical psychologist explain this. The reason some people decide to run away from home, or go missing, is this deep lingering feeling of not being able to be themselves.

I want to go far far away from everything.
 
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hahabye

hahabye

always say never
Sep 14, 2019
314
The same thing happened to me albeit due to my mental health. I feel like a shell of the person that I was before. It feels so hollow - like a hole with an abyss on the bottom.

I have a constant desire to run away and hide - never thought those two things might be related! Very interesting thought.

Too bad you can't run away or go missing when the thing you're running from is you.
 
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Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,733
I understand completely what you mean. It would be nice to have a body and mind capable of anything you want them to and a world where you can do what you want, and to live life that is made by you. Right now life is like a movie. Everything is so scripted.

All I can say is that if this place isn't for you, it must mean that deep in your heart you are from a different place. Your body may be from this planet, but your soul and consciousness are from a much better, higher place. It isn't normal for a fish to feel at home on land. That must mean water exists. It isn't normal for some beings to feel home at here. Then it must mean something else exists. I like to think that no matter what happens, your soul will always remember its true self.
 
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WornOutLife

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,183
Yeah, I become a person I hated for almost 3 years. It really sucked.

Hope you can feel better soon!

Hugs,

Matt
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,673
I have felt like this my whole life. My soul just doesn't want to be trapped inside a human body and I have always felt at conflict with myself. I always feel empty and disconnected. We really cannot control our own thoughts which is one of the hardest parts about being conscious. I wish you the best.
 
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