Venting decisions (should've picked tails)

[consilium]

Hey i am relatively new here, that being said i cant shake this want for death and or pain im honestly so tired of living its just the same cycle no matter how hard i try and change it, it always end up restarting i cut everyone of my "friends" off in turn i do feel a little weight lifted off my shoulders but this craving wont go away just constantly trying my hardest to find my "joy" in life feeling like im just biding time decaying until i finally take my life. Im stuck between choosing a home made pistol, jumping off a bridge off as many drugs as i can get or hanging myself off of said bridge or possibly life. i cant even get past the resolve needed to kill myself, i tried to flip a coin but that couldn't even help me decide.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

Be welcome! I'm sorry that this world has caused you so much pain.

If you are interested, you could research and learn more about SS, there are many important and interesting things here, including safer and less painful methods, if you prefer, of course.

I wish you a good stay.