Venting Death is much closer than I percieved...

[jisatsuko]

My life plan was to finish college, get a good job, make lots of money, donate it to my parents, and die in my 20s via firearm. It's such a childish dream, so, so, childish, but I believed that I could.

I was wrong. Now, I have nothing. I lived for my parents, the only thing stopping me from dying was the amount of money I owed from them raising me. My parents don't even love me... (pathetic) but it all doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore. I've stopped caring.
I'm not even going to live to the point where I buy a firearm. It's a bit... bittersweet. However, my number one goal isn't to graduate anymore. It's death, and I've started searching all over town for my potential spot.

Sometimes... I feel like my childish dream was me stalling because I knew I had nothing left. I don't know anymore. Everything hurts.

I'll be very annoying from now on by being more active. I apologize.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

You don't owe your parents anything, even less so if they are abusive parents.

 

[sweetbraid]

i dont know why but your energy is beautiful????

ngl i really relate. as a kid i wanted to die in this extravagant way - wearing a medieval looking dress (i actually have one now), in a forest during fall, stab myself right through the chest directly to my heart with a hugeass sword.... not realistic lmao

 

[Zzzzz]

You don't owe your parents money for raising you. They imposed life onto you without your consent. They forced you to experience pain and death. The only reason you needed anything was because they chose to birth you in the first place.