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Bulldogbitch

Bulldogbitch

Lifes a bitch, so am I
Feb 12, 2020
85
I tend to find myself with a sense of dread about my own death. Then there's the battle of wanting to die, so it's difficult for me to understand myself.

The worst time is when I first switch the light off, I can imagine myself in a coffin. It's when I wake in the night that this dread hits me worst. (It's nothing to do with being afraid of the dark).
The strange sense of nothingness for eternity after everything we've had, been through etc.
I try to rationalise that there was nothing before I was born, so don't be scared but it didn't help really.

I get the impression from a lot of fellow members that you believe in the other side or of a happier place?
Is this a religious belief? The certainty that it can't be any worse than living?

I don't think posting this will be of benefit to anyone. I hope I don't offend anyone.

Am I alone in these thoughts?
I can't explain how I feel in words, I think ultimately it's the fact that we all have to die, suicidal or not, we really don't have any say in it, maybe it's the inevitability that it will taken and there's no other choice.

Hope you're all doing OK.
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
I'm not feeling dread. I'm feeling inevitability. All the things I really want to do in life I do not feel like are available to me anymore and so why stick around?
 
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Deadweight

Deadweight

It's spilling out of me
Nov 10, 2021
74
Welll you're not going to know what it's like to be in a coffin because you're going to be dead. But, I did have a period when I began contemplating death, and that was something that used to scare me.

Over time that fear has faded, and now I don't care what happens next. If it's nothing, reincarnation or some kind of afterlife, I'm at a point where it all sounds like a better place than where I am now.

Maybe you do some research into death and find something to believe in that's comforting to you. I started listening to Alan Watts lectures on death and his philosophy on death really brought some comfort. I'll be listening to his lectures when I ctb, I want to go out listening to him drunkenly laughing and musing over the topic of life and death.
 
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Bulldogbitch

Bulldogbitch

Lifes a bitch, so am I
Feb 12, 2020
85
Alan Watts lectures on death and his philosophy on death really brought some comfort. I'll be listening to his lectures when I ctb, I want to go out listening to him drunkenly laughing and musing over the topic of life and death.
I'll have to take the time to check him out, thank you.

There's been times I've been unconscious and obviously there's nothing until you wake and that reassures me it's not scary.
I guess someone can argue that it doesn't count but if I'd died I'd have known no difference.

I think it's an over active mind more than anything. After I acknowledge this dread I try to rationalise it or distract myself.
I'm not feeling dread. I'm feeling inevitability. All the things I really want to do in life I do not feel like are available to me anymore and so why stick around?
That makes sense to me.
Is there no way you can do some things you do want to do before?
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,698
I am not scared of death, in fact I look forward to death. Death is freedom from all suffering and it is true peace. Life is the thing that terrifies me, being alive is a nightmare. Death is the end of it all. I think many people are scared of death as existence is all we know, we cannot comprehend what it is like to not exist. The way I see it we were perfectly fine not existing until we were forced to live. I see death as just returning to that nothingness. There is nothing to fear as we simply do not experience anything.
 
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S

sfabians

Student
Nov 7, 2021
116
To google the statistics, more than 150,000 souls leave this world everyday
 
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