Dealing with imposter syndrome?

[TheLastGreySky]

So recently I had a short series of psychedelic trips and in the most recent one I uncovered a repressed memory (which I'll talk about in another post) as well as I became aware that I have imposter syndrome and that's one of the main reasons I've been stagnant as a artist and a musician the past several months.
I realize unless people are extremely positive with compliments I don't feel validated in what I do, and art used to never be about getting attention. I used to run from compliments and I was definitely my own biggest critic and now I'm aware that I have to deal with feeling like I'm not a "real" artist.

For anyone who's ever read the original teenage mutant Ninja turtle comics you'll probably know that the art is widely considered terrible even by the standards of the time, and yet it's a really good comic. So for a long time my question why I didn't draw more if my skill level wasn't the barrier to my happiness as an artist. Well, without dragging this on any further I believe I'm suffering from imposter syndrome. And I'm not sure how to deal with it productively. I'm very much anti-therapist because I feel like 70% of therapy is getting comfortable with someone and subjecting yourself to to their suggestion.
While never having the ability to actually open up about real world issues without them locking you up for being suicidal.

 

[Dejected 55]

Impostor syndrome is bad to deal with, and yet it's a sign of being introspective and not full of yourself, which I think is ultimately a good thing.

People will always say that other people's opinions don't matter... but that's BS. You're an artist. You can be confident as all hell, but if no one buys your work, you're a starving artist. You can starve to the grave being self-loving and confident unless and until someone else likes your work and buys it.

BUT... the rub is... sometimes people want shit. My father mused a lot over how he could put hours and days into a drawing that nobody would care about... then he could whip something he thought was crap out in an hour that people would fawn over. People are finicky and inconsistent and also subject to tribe-mentality so you could be the best artist ever and nobody will care. Think of famous artists like Van Gough who didn't sell shit until people began to appreciate him after he died. That's sad as fuck how much people enjoy his works and he never get to experience that and took his own life thinking he was worthless and talentless.

I don't know if I even have a point here... life and people suck.