In the last few months my mh has deteriorated significantly. To appease those around me I agreed to see a psych (whilst putting together a plan to ctb, which is whats made me feel a little more in control).
I wrote out a summary of my mh history for myself (and potentially to share with psych), which showed me I've had at least 12 distinct periods of severe depression, each 6months - 1 year +. That doesn't even include the 13 year shit show of my teens and early twenties. Then a long list of meds, therapies and self help I've tried.
This is over the last 25years, more than two thirds of my life.
It's just torture isn't it, to think I'm expected to spend the rest of my life "fighting" this again and again and again.
The other day a friend even started saying how I needed to "help myself"...first thing that made me laugh in weeks.
The idea of this being my life is appalling, feels like it should come under cruel and unusual punishment. But, as I agreed to see a psych people have backed off a bit so I can gather what I need.
I wrote out a summary of my mh history for myself (and potentially to share with psych), which showed me I've had at least 12 distinct periods of severe depression, each 6months - 1 year +. That doesn't even include the 13 year shit show of my teens and early twenties. Then a long list of meds, therapies and self help I've tried.
This is over the last 25years, more than two thirds of my life.
It's just torture isn't it, to think I'm expected to spend the rest of my life "fighting" this again and again and again.
The other day a friend even started saying how I needed to "help myself"...first thing that made me laugh in weeks.
The idea of this being my life is appalling, feels like it should come under cruel and unusual punishment. But, as I agreed to see a psych people have backed off a bit so I can gather what I need.
