CTB is not "the easy way out" (It is in fact, very difficult)

[dearlybeloved998]

Why is CTB so fucking hard? Pro-lifers claim that it is the easy way out but it's anything but that, even for the most perpetually and chronically suicidal it takes balls of steel to CTB, survival instict is always there, even for those that decide to move on and attempt.

Furthermore it's extremely hard to find the materials required for a successful CTB, and most methods, such us cutting your wrists or overdosing on medication fail. Methods such us firearms and jumping of heights have a risk of putting you in an even more difficult situation if you are unlucky and fail, or giving you (even more) brain damage/disability.

CTB is not "the easy way out". It is an incredibly difficult, and often scary decision even for those who have endured years of life in misery. Fortunately or unfortunately, the human body is created to survive, there have been stories of people who have survived week's or months in the desert with very little food and hydration, or years in deserted islands out of sheer willpower. Our bodies are built to endure horrible injuries or long periods of starvation and dehydration. Which is good for our caveman ancestors, but bad for those of us here, that want to CTB.

So theoretically, a person can be "passively suicidal", wishing for the end to come and seeing no reasonable alternative, but also kept alive by our ingrained, intense survival instict, and perhaps the consequences of potential failure. It's possible for a person to plan their own suicide in the span of decades, and still be kept alive by any of the factors that I listed above or some other factor such us loved ones, or some elderly relative being dependent on them.

TL;DR: CTB is not the easy way out, it's extremely difficult to commit both emotionally and practically, and the consequences of failure are especialy severe.

PS: I also wanted to apologize for my old post where I was rambling about how I thought CTB should only be used in cases of treatment refractory mental or physical illness. I read some of your responses and some older threads and came to realize that there's plenty of fucked up ways a person's livelyhood can be destroyed besides mental or physical illness. I'm thinking of deleting it, it didn't contribute to this forum in any way.

 

[NumbItAll]

I of course agree with this and definitely fall into that category, but I would also like to add that there is nothing wrong with taking "the easy way out" for anything. No one should be chastised for wanting to avoid suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

If any pro lifers say that ctb is the easy way out then they are very delusional. I think that people who haven't planned ctb will never be able to comprehend how difficult it really is. If it was easier to exit, I would already be gone. I have never wanted to be alive. The lack of peaceful, reliable exit and the fear of failure is what holds me back. More than anything I wish it was easier to leave. I would love to just completely disappear.

 

[dearlybeloved998]

exactly. this is the key point. slave psychology is imposed on us from childhood

Slave psychology has fucked me up big time to be honest, a few years back I remember there was a part of me that wanted recovery, and I was hanging from a small thread of hope saying that life *has to get better*, versus all the chains of iron around my legs pulling me down, and saying the opposite.

Now that I'm older, I almost actively seek suffering more, I've used slave psychology many times to cope with my issues, I would tell myself that "it's GOOD that I'm struggling this much! Debilitating suffering is GOOD! Suffering makes us STRONG and WARRIORS and teaches us things <333!".

At one point I started feeling like I'm not "sick enough", and that "I don't have it that bad", even though I knew I didn't really want to be alive since I was like, 11, and societal brainwashing made me believe that only a visible, physical, terminal ailment would be "bad enough" for me to be considered a "warrior" and I started hoping for it or for some kind of commorbidity to validate myself in my struggles, thanks to the slave mentality I have had shoved down my throat all my life, that "suffering is good and beautiful and it strengthens our character and if you suffer its a blessing in disguise and you're fighter <3!". This is usually believed by people who are relatively healthy and privileged and haven't faced even an inch of actual suffering in their lives.