Ctb in a few days.

[Zeus35]

I have everything I need. Breaking my laptop screen really was the last straw. I don't have support so I can't ask anyone for money. I'm in England. I was planning on going to university. I should have started that assignment early but because I was dragged through the court system by a psychopath malignant narcissist I started everything late. I'll be fasting from tomorrow. I'll folloe Stan's Guide. If people cannot stick their two cents in and tell me not to ctb. I am under extreme stress at the moment and I am sat here crying. My life is over. I cannot cope I was literally dragged through the court system by a malignant narcissist and psychopath. I have been under extre stress. That's why I started everything late. Regarding the assignment. I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. That sounds really unbearable what you are going through. I wish you the best in whatever happens, I hope you find relief from pain.

 

[Zeus35]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. That sounds really unbearable what you are going through. I wish you the best in whatever happens, I hope you find relief from pain.

Thank you. It's just extremely painful. I wasn't going to ctb yet I was going to go to university I was going to wait. It's why I ordered so many things for my cats. The screen breaking was the last straw. My abuser has caused so much damage had I been left alone had it agreed to leave me alone. I wouldn't have become severely depressed and severely stressed. I would have started my assignments sooner. I've been hanging on by a thread since March 10th all because of my abuser I am so sick and so tired.

 

[wearingmyheart]

aw tough situation bud. I'll miss you.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Peace be with you :(

 

[sweet_oblivion]

Narcissistic relationships are so emotionally draining, I can't imagine how horrible all of that must have been for you. Have you started university yet or were you planning to go? What I would say is don't let your abuser stop you from living how you want to live before you cbt, if university is financially possible and something you want to do then I would say go for it.
If you feel like you can't go on and have fully made peace with your decision I completely understand, and I wish you the best for what is to come

 

[Zeus35]

Narcissistic relationships are so emotionally draining, I can't imagine how horrible all of that must have been for you. Have you started university yet or were you planning to go? What I would say is don't let your abuser stop you from living how you want to live before you cbt, if university is financially possible and something you want to do then I would say go for it.
If you feel like you can't go on and have fully made peace with your decision I completely understand, and I wish you the best for what is to come

Thank you. I am sat on my sofa literally crying. I can't live anymore. My dream of going to a particular university is over. My abuser has won. I should have started those assignments sooner but I couldn't. I was dragged through the court system
trying to get a protection order. I did everything I literally fought tooth and nail to protect myself. Now it's cost me my future. I'm so upset why can't I fucking stop crying?!!! I'm a failure. I'll never amount to anything I was destined for anything.

 

[sweet_oblivion]

Thank you. I am sat on my sofa literally crying. I can't live anymore. My dream of going to a particular university is over. My abuser has won. I should have started those assignments sooner but I couldn't. I was dragged through the court system
trying to get a protection order. I did everything I literally fought tooth and nail to protect myself. Now it's cost me my future. I'm so upset why can't I fucking stop crying?!!! I'm a failure. I'll never amount to anything I was destined for anything.

That's awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Are there any other universities you could apply to or were you set on that one? You have every right to be upset, your abuser has cost you your dream and you have been put in a very tough situation. I hope you find peace in whichever choice you make in the end and if you need someone to vent to about it I'm always here :)

 

[Zeus35]

That's awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Are there any other universities you could apply to or were you set on that one? You have every right to be upset, your abuser has cost you your dream and you have been put in a very tough situation. I hope you find peace in whichever choice you make in the end and if you need someone to vent to about it I'm always here :)

Thank you. It's just extremely upsetting. I'm going to see if I can pawn in my diamond ring to the pawn brokers tomorrow get some cash and use my savings which literally isn't much to try and get the laptop screen repaired. I'm going to go to a laptop screen repair shop and see if they can do it there and then. I'm hoping it isn't too much money. I don't much. That's why I'm going to have to pawn in my ring. Or at least leave my ring with them so they know I'll come back and pay the rest. I just need money. I'm going to see what I can do. I am so upset about it all though. I hope they have some screens already in their shop to replace it with.

 

[Judy Garland]

Thank you. It's just extremely upsetting. I'm going to see if I can pawn in my diamond ring to the pawn brokers tomorrow get some cash and use my savings which literally isn't much to try and get the laptop screen repaired. I'm going to go to a laptop screen repair shop and see if they can do it there and then. I'm hoping it isn't too much money. I don't much. That's why I'm going to have to pawn in my ring. Or at least leave my ring with them so they know I'll come back and pay the rest. I just need money. I'm going to see what I can do. I am so upset about it all though. I hope they have some screens already in their shop to replace it with.

Most likely they won't have your screen already in the shop. Computer screens and parts are not standardized. Meaning, one size does not fit all. It's how everyone wanted it, throw away items. What you can do is purchase an external monitor and hook that up to your video port on your laptop....assuming you have one. How did your screen break? Did it just stop working? Lighting up? If it's just not lit then that would be the LCD or LED panel which again can be replaced but it has to fit the specifications of your laptop. Best bet would be to purchase an external monitor and forget about the screen. (Usually it costs $300 at least to replace a laptop LED/LCD panel.

 

[Zeus35]

I don't have a video port

 

[CommitSudoku]

I'm sorry everything is hitting you all at once and making life impossible, and making it seem like any dreams you have are impossible. I've been there, it hurts. Whatever you decide to do ultimately I hope it's what you feel is best for you, best wishes whatever route you go.

I assume this assignment is an application for university and you're not already going there? If you were in university they usually will have laptops you can borrow. If not try libraries and they might have desktop computers or laptops. You could also reach out to the university and explain your situation and see if they'd make an exception and allow you to use their computers as a guest or something. I've never been to England to know but do you have any internet cafes or places like that? Where you could pay to use a computer if there isn't a library or other place you can borrow one from.

For your broken laptop did you have information on it that is essential? Does it still work other than the screen? If there is essential information on it and it doesn't work anymore you can take out the hard drive and they have cords made so you can usb it to another computer and access all the info on the hard drive. This might take too long though - I had to order one online when my laptop broke a year ago, and also had a friend with tech knowledge tell me which would work for my model of laptop. If it still works other than the screen as others suggested you could hook it up to an external monitor. I don't know your laptop type but even without a video port it *might* be possible. Usually it's HDMI to HDMI to connect screens but they make all sorts of cords for that too so it might be possible to get HDMI to ??? where ??? connects to another suitable port your computer offers. Towards this end you may want to look up if your specific laptop can be wired to an external monitor and see what the internet has to say.

You could possibly continue work on the papers on your phone (I assume that's how you're writing here). You could write it in a note app or write it in an email to yourself, as long as you have email on your phone you can easily put your writing there so when you have access to a computer again you have your writing on email and can copy/paste into a proper document format. If you have a google account you can access their Google docs online, they have an app and you can also pull up google docs via the Chrome web browser (and potentially others) - editing sucks here though. When necessary you can go into the Chrome browser settings and set it to desktop mode if you need to trick your phone into thinking it's a computer, this can make some things a pain to use but just fyi if you didn't know and it could be helpful. Ahem I'll stop rambling now.

All just thoughts and I'm wishing you the best and hoping you can overcome this and see to your dreams. I've given up on most (all?) my dreams but I'd much rather others get a shot at theirs if they have them. I won't be online much longer today but if me writing too much can be helpful just let me know. Good luck and I'm sorry for everything that's happened and about your laptop.

 

[downndone2]

Can you call the Uni and get extension on the paper due to your circumstances?

 

[Dizzylady80]

I have everything I need. Breaking my laptop screen really was the last straw. I don't have support so I can't ask anyone for money. I'm in England. I was planning on going to university. I should have started that assignment early but because I was dragged through the court system by a psychopath malignant narcissist I started everything late. I'll be fasting from tomorrow. I'll folloe Stan's Guide. If people cannot stick their two cents in and tell me not to ctb. I am under extreme stress at the moment and I am sat here crying. My life is over. I cannot cope I was literally dragged through the court system by a malignant narcissist and psychopath. I have been under extre stress. That's why I started everything late. Regarding the assignment. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Getting dragged through the courts for that is fucking miserable, I've had a few friends have similar experiences trying to get protective orders, one of them had to drop out of college for a semester because of it. The university worked with her on that though, thankfully, and they're actually doing better now even though the asshole who was dragging out the court process won. I'm sorry you're having to go through that Gemstone, it sounds painful as hell. Have you considered looking into medically withdrawing for classes?

 

[Zeus35]

Getting dragged through the courts for that is fucking miserable, I've had a few friends have similar experiences trying to get protective orders, one of them had to drop out of college for a semester because of it. The university worked with her on that though, thankfully, and they're actually doing better now even though the asshole who was dragging out the court process won. I'm sorry you're having to go through that Gemstone, it sounds painful as hell. Have you considered looking into medically withdrawing for classes?

I want to stay at college I'm just scared because of the fact my laptop has broken and I need it. Laptop screen. I don't have the money to have anything fixed, ebeplus it would take a few days anyway.

 

[BigG91]

I don't know how old you are but i feel if you can afford University you should definitely do it. Otherwise you could start working too... won't be great but maybe you'll find something to do that you like along the way. You could move to a new place and start a new life. If you're not gonna CTB that is.