Ctb before or after holiday?

[death137]

So there is a holiday (new year) coming in my country in 12 days time. Ever since I became actively suicidal I hated holidays especially new year. Large part of me wants to end it before that day. But a small part of me wants to end it shortly after the day for the sake of not ruining it for my family. I want to do what I really want but I'm feeling guilt by it. Any thought?

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

I'll say to wait a few days after the holiday. If you really want to cbt that would be your last holiday and even if you don't quite like them; give that last favor to your family, of having you on that day and try to enjoy it. Then, a few days after that day; you can ctb. At least this is how I think. Don't know your preferences. Your call. Hope it goes well on whatever you decide.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

Sorry things are so tough for you.
I really don't want to make you feel worse, but if your intention is to avoid ruining the holiday for your family, I'd suggest not to do it around the holiday time, neither shortly before, nor soon after the holidays. Otherwise, your family will always associate the holidays with your passing. If you really want to CTB, I'd suggest to wait for a time a little after the holidays, at least a week, if you can.

 

[death137]

@Lone_Gray_Wolf and @Nessie thank you for the advice. I've decided to do it after the holiday.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

Good to know you've made a decision. You'll have more time to prepare, think everything over and maybe even enjoy some little things, which is always good.
Wishing you peace.